My Mother's Influence
My mother used to frequently remind me as I was growing up that a process can be painful without preventing it from being lovely. The narrative encapsulates the purpose of my existence. On November 24, 1989, my existence began with more sorrow than I could have imagined at my young age. I was reared by a single mother because my father died a few months before I was born. At a young age, my mother Elena did not allow me to question the completeness of my existence. I grew up oblivious for a time of the pain she was going through in having to raise a daughter without the love of her life. She ensured that I participated in a myriad of activities such as swimming, dancing and singing, which I enjoyed. I was a high achiever in school, and, although at the time I did not fully comprehend it, my perception that it was the only way I could please mother. My happiest days were not when I won medals or got good grades but rather the moments when I saw the joy and pride on her face as she watched me excel. My goal as I grew older and learnt just how hard mother worked was to achieve my dreams so that I could take care of her.
The Journey of Parenting
At the age of twenty five, I got married to Anthony Fidel, the love of my life. We were blessed with a son, on September 6, 2007, whom we named Rory. Sadly, my husband passed on before the birth of Rory and I was left with the sole responsibility of caring for our child. Parenting has been at the center of my life lessons. Through the experience of raising Rory, I have developed parenting skills which also contributed to my ability to care for others. Being inspired by my mother's ability to support and care for me as a single parent, I strove to provide the same care for Rory. Through conversations with Rory, I have been able to get to the root of his emotional outbursts and help him tackle the underlying problems he experiences. I aim at enabling him to be as independent as possible. From age five to eight, we talked about routine activities such as the need for a bath and sleep time. Although he did not fully understand, it helped instill in him values such as neatness, timekeeping, and organizational skills.
The Challenges of Single Parenting
Being a single parent has really enabled my growth and strength. Walking the balance between caring support and allowing Rory to be independent has been the greatest challenge I have faced in parenting. In order to enable him to become more independent, I ensured he associated with his peers in order to learn social skills independently.
Watching Rory Grow
Watching Rory grow has been a fulfilling and educative experience right from the onset. I have watched him grow from a dependent bundle of joy to a boy who is capable of making his own decisions. When he was a young child, Rory depended on me and since it was just the two of us, he sought my approval for his actions. I was the custodian of his safe world and ensured that I understood him, for example, when he showed that he was under discomfort, I would find the source of the pain in order to stop it. When he began walking at 14 months, I knew that I was watching the first signs of independence in my son. By the age of three, he would throw tantrums sometimes and say no just so that he could express his independence. I learnt that the best way to handle such a situation was to let him calm down and then have a talk about it. His tantrums always subsided when I did not show overwhelming concern for his antics. I always watched from the corner of my eye, with amusement as he would get up from the floor on which he rolled on when he realized that I was not bothered by the show he would put up. Most tantrums came about as a result of asking him to share his toys with others. He however grew generous by the age of four.
Rory's Growth and Independence
At the age of five, Rory began to be more conversational. He was inquisitive and would inquire about every aspect of this life and the society. I took that opportunity of his thirst for knowledge to guide him on the appropriate values and behavior in the society. Rory began to shift the center of his attention from me to others within the 6-11 years range. We still have a close relationship but he is currently more interested in being around his peers. Basketball takes up his social time and his basketball coach is his role model. Every day, his conversations with me revolve around the new lessons he learnt from his basketball coach, Jerry, who helps him improve his abilities on the field.
From Clerk to Administrative Secretary
The accumulation of my experiences in life contributed to the line of work I am currently in. I started out in 1999 as a clerk for a substance abuse program called 'Next Steps' which served outpatient. The program was relatively new at the time I joined it and as such, I had to learn about chemical dependencies while on the job. The goals of the program were to analyze the effect of the environment of an individual to drug abuse and the influence that drugs had on individual moods. I also collected a wealth of information on chemical dependency through my first hand experience with those who engaged in substance abuse who were enrolled in the program. My greatest achievements while serving as a clerk in the program were the creation of forms and templates for easy patient documentation and the creation of a database on the patient's condition observed through monitoring.
The Role of an Administrative Secretary
After three years of working as a clerk in the Next Steps program, I was promoted to the position of an administrative secretary at Methadone Clinic where the program was run. The position came with a change in roles and I had to adjust very quickly. The administrative secretary position is my current position in Methadone clinic. I meet patients with diverse medical needs on a daily basis. My responsibilities have been enhancing communication between medical personnel and patients, ensuring there is compliance to clinical rules and procedures and updating the database with patients' information. The clients I directly deal with are opium addicts. Lack of education and poverty are some of the contributing factors that influence their drug abuse. I know some of the regular patients by name. Each time they come to the clinic, I enquire into their progress and try to encourage them to overcome addiction. My offer of support is always comforting to those who feel lonely after being abandoned by their families due to drug addiction. I have developed an understanding of diverse cultures and the societal influences that make drug addiction hard to overcome.
Assessing Financial Situations
Another role in my job is the assessment of the financial situation of the chemically dependent clients in order to determine their ability to function in society. My work requires that I accurately update all the forms and chart templates that belong to the clinic, communicate with the insurance companies for authorizations giving the Human Resource manager the financial reports, and finally providing of admissions and discharging data reports for the OASAS. I am happy to be working in this company due to the service it delivers to drug abusers in the nation and every day I got to experience something new.
Securing Funds and Financial Planning
One of my tasks at work is to ensure that funds for the Next Step program are secured and that the financial model that the clinic utilizes is sustainable with the given funds. I have been able to learn to develop financial plans with the primary focus being the beneficiaries of the program; who are the chemically dependent persons. Through plans approved by the clinic, we have several programs for the chemically dependent persons to not only improve their finances but also to secure funding in case they have good business ideas which can generate profit. Through such initiatives, the addicts are able to experience societal support unlike the feeling of abandonment that they experience in their cultures and society.
Raising Rory and Teaching Financial Responsibility
Working at methadone clinic has really taught me a lot of things and one major lesson I learnt is that the way you raise your children greatly influences their behavior as they grow old. I ensure that Rory has role models including his basketball coach, my mother and other teachers who guide him on appropriate behavior. I have instilled in him the idea that he should be assertive and independent. Although he does not tell me about some of the peer pressures he experiences, he sometimes talks to his basketball coach who tells me about the experiences. I am secretly proud to note that he is self-assured and would not smoke or bully others just because his friends ask him to do it. Communication is essential in the coming teenage years and although he does not talk to me about all of his experiences, I am comforted by the knowledge that he has a male figure in his life whom he has no qualms sharing information with. I am glad that his basketball coach is a good family friend and as such, I can trust him around my son and also trust that he will inform me of any pertinent matters that I should be privy to.
Social Factors and Financial Planning
Some of the social factors that influence the individual's decision to engage in drugs are: lacks of societal and parental support, peers' pressure, social problems such as poverty or the lack of an education which make the individual have a negative perception of their life's worth and other social issues which individuals are unable to cope with. Since we live in New York, I am glad that Rory has a strong support system which will ensure he is not vulnerable to peers' pressure. Keeping busy through involvement with sport also helps ensure that he does not have a lot of free time to experiment in harmful activities. I have learned to be open-minded when it comes to dealing with the chemically dependent persons I come across in my line of work. A non-judgmental attitude enables me to create trust with the patient. Trust enables the patients to open up and share their life stories.
Personal Financial Management
Finances are a major concern in life and I have a personal financial plan that ensures that I spend my money wisely and save for the future. In a year, I earn $52,000. I ensure that I save at least five percent of my monthly earning in order to protect Rory and me from any unforeseeable future risks. The 529 savings plan I have for my son is aimed at ensuring that he is protected in the unfortunate event of my demise. Alternatively, it can help him adjust in the future or supplement his educational expenses. Although saving for the future is very important, I also believe that entertainment should be a part of social life. It not only helps me to relax and unwind but also allows me time to show my son the manner in which one can have fun without engaging in destructive activities. I therefore spend five to ten percent of my income on entertainment. In the past, we would have family activities such as camping during holidays. As Rory grows, he increasingly prefers social engagement with his friends. I therefore veto the places he wants to visit and in case there is a chaperone for the group, I let him go. I have learnt valuable lessons on accountability and responsibility. Due to good financial management, I have been able to save for an apartment in New York which will improve the living conditions for Rory and me. I have also bought a car which has greatly improved my ability to navigate around New York. I am therefore able to pick up or drop off Rory for his basketball practices and pick him up at the scheduled times.
A Journey of Growth
Life is a growth process in my opinion. Each and every experience has enabled me to incorporate more acquired skills into new positions in life in order to succeed. Communication has been pertinent to the resolution of all social disputes. My experience being raised up by a single mother enabled me to acquire the skill set which I improved on in order to become a good parent for Rory. As Rory continues to grow and become more independent, I channel my energies and care to the patients I see daily. I listen to their stories and deduce the kind of help they require before ensuring they get such help. Financial help is essential in assessing the capability of a person to function normally in society. I therefore incorporate financial advice for the patients I come across. I also apply the financial lessons in my life and Rory's in order to set a good example for my son.
