Stephanie Erickson: An Introduction
Stephanie Erickson, a screenwriter, and copywriter who works in advertising wrote the book The Ways We Cheat. Stephanie was born in 1953 in San Francisco and grew up there. Stephanie's other writings include self-help books such as Companion In the Darkness and Inner Dialogues on Grief (1993). As it appeared on Utne, 'The Ways We Cheat' is an important book to her and the community. The book explicitly addresses the various ways we prefer to lie and under certain conditions, as well as the different forms of lies.
Thesis Statement and Purpose
The thesis statement by Stephanie is that we all lie and she goes further to bring out a theme that there is no good lie and that people lie rather than telling the truth. The author tries to tell how people revolve around unimportant issues neglecting critical details that end up changing everything. She states that we all lie believing it to be harmless but it might be critical. The purpose of the book is to make people feel bad about themselves and try to correct their lying habits.
Different Forms of Lies
The Out and Out Lie
The lies cited by Ericson includes, the white lie, façade and the out and out lie, I'll start by the out and out lie. This is where one lies straightforward that no one has doubt that there is no truth in it. It is so embarrassing to lie to people and they all know you are up to no truth. The uniqueness of this lie according to Ericson is that it has a good shape that people do not think to say it. She goes ahead and tell us that this is the best lie to her because she gets tired trying to figure out things thus it's better being straightforward. In our society today someone will tend to lie to you, for example, I didn't make it to class because of traffic, this becomes a direct lie because maybe at the time you were supposed to meet you were on the same route and experienced no traffic. This is easy to say and because you know it's a lie you will confront it easily.
The White Lie
The white lie, this is where you lie thinking that saying something away from the truth will hurt no one. It's a norm that the elites tell people what they want to hear, that is not everyone will hear the truth and appreciate it. People will get frustrated, disappointed, discouraged and upset if the tells told by the other people what against what they expected thus the learned will lie in a bright way to make the audience comfortable. However, as usual lies have consequences and not everyone will appreciate our lies despite helping others, it will depend on the point of view of the beholder. An example is the Vietnam case where the family didn't want to move on to the next life but they always kept their hopes alive yet it's true they did not go hungry. This lie is best for those who don't want to accept and move on. For example, it's hard to tell someone that your work is mediocre because this will discourage them, thus you tell them it is better.
Façade
A deceptive outward appearance is said to be a façade. A façade is used to impress and seduce others with a different illusion. This might end up changing someone's personality and character. According to Stephanie, a façade is destructive because it cannot change the fact that it is a lie. Ericson was betrayed by a friend who lied to her through the facade and never paid her. The friend lied to Ericson to an extent she belied in her.
Reasons Behind Lying
Finally, I'll talk about the reasons why we lie according to Ericson because all lies have reasons to be told. Actions have consequences and if lies can help us escape then people take the direction of lying. People don't get honest with their actions and tend to get pretexts to fix their mess. She also says that people lie by omission, according to antique legends before eve there was another woman in the garden of Eden. Why was she omitted? This becomes a danger to history and future because if this is true the whole Christian religion had been lied to which is dangerous. The common reason Stephanie has to lie is not to hurt others, which gives a go-ahead to white lies. Difficult situations make us lie perhaps we lie to get jobs in our current society characterized by high expenses of living. We lie to avoid confrontations escape punishments and to keep our secrets.
Conclusion
In conclusion, we should all find a way, to tell the truth, which will not bring negative issues. The truth will always come out, in the end, it doesn't matter how long it will take and this will hurt those who have been lied to more. Ericson finishes by telling us that people can walk away with lies and use them every day to make sense of everything in everyday life and thoughts. We should always case from lies as they are just distraction with both long-term and short-term effects.
Reference
Stephanie, Ericson. The ways we lie : happer Collins, 1993
Gillies, Andrea. The White Lie. London: Short, 2012.
Grant, Michael, and Kyle McCarley. Lies. Old Saybrook, Conn.: Tantor Audio [a division of] Recorded Books, 2016.
Mummert, Teresa. Perfect Lie. Place of publication not identified: Teresa Mummert, 2013.
Why We Lie. Princeton, NJ: Films for the Humanities & Sciences, 2003.
