In his book, About Virtue, Alasdair McIntyre hails humans as the storytelling animal. He argues that from birth to death, human beings present a narratable life and their actions are held accountable. Therefore, human beings tend to live as if they are telling a story although unconsciously. For instance, most of our actions from the past have a significant impact on our future. This can be compared to the fictional characters because most of them do not know about their future but they live in such a way that their actions project into the future (MacIntyre, 2007, p. 216). It can, therefore, be deduced that unpredictability and teleology are interdependent factors that are present in the human life. It is because as humans we cannot predict what will happen in the future but we usually assume that our current actions will affect our future. For example, rapid industrialization is predicted to contribute significantly to climate change and severe environmental degradation which is why people are advocating for green economies in an attempt to enhance environmental protection and mitigate the effects of climate change. Our experiences, therefore, become the stories that define us, our legacy as well as our personalities and personal identities.
I recall one of my childhood experiences that significantly transformed my life. While growing up, our family struggled with finances and it was difficult meeting all our needs. At times, my mother had to do multiple jobs to help my dad with the family budget but things were not working. We could not even afford to save because we were living from hand to mouth. Financial struggle is quite traumatizing for young children because I remember we could not afford most of the staff such as all the cool clothes. Furthermore, being the second born I had to inherit my elder sisters’ clothes and shoes. However, being a child I could not understand the financial situation in our family because my parents especially my mother tried her best to give us the best life. Once I was a teenager, I began to decipher the economic struggles. We were struggling with debt from our mortgage; my sister had student loans from college and I was only three years from joining her in college. During that time I was socially withdrawn because I could not interact with the other students because I feared they would shun me once they discovered the situation. Interacting in high school is difficult especially if you do not have the looks and the money to attract friends. Besides, I used to wear old baggy clothes inherited from my sister and therefore not even a single boy from school would approach me. I became resentful and bitter towards everyone that seemed to have achieved in life. I remember there was one point I almost became an atheist because I questioned God’s existence. I wondered why God would allow us to suffer this much. I developed Nietzsche’s slave morality because I was resentful towards the rich and successful in the society.
Our situation moved from the frying pan into the fire when my father was diagnosed with diabetes and high blood pressure. His medical expenses strangled our household income and it was even more difficult to cope up with the situation. I was forced to look for a part-time job and luckily I secured at one of the stores near our home. However, the income was meager but it was better than nothing. At least, I could do some shopping and contribute to maintaining our monthly bills. Responsibilities had already engulfed me as a teenager and with my resentment, I did not see anything worth living for. For instance, I resented my boss for the meager payment he gave me. I could understand how I overworked myself only to get $6 per hour. Moreover, due to my antisocial behavior, I did not interact with my workmates. My melancholia had taken the better part of me and I did not know that slowly I was developing depression.
Unfortunately, by the time I was diagnosed with depression, it was after a failed suicide attempt. For a long time, I felt that the burden was becoming too much. With my father’s health deteriorating and our financial situation becoming worse, I could not see myself going through with college. My sister had already summed up student loans and I could not even imagine how she would begin to pay them. The only option I wanted was a silent exit. Besides, I thought that there are many people in the world and my death would not even matter or even make any change. I did not matter when alive so even in death I would not matter. The thoughts in my mind were too loud to bear. Besides, my crippling anxiety and resentment could not even let me share my trouble with my sister or even my mother perhaps they could have helped me handle the depression. I decided to take an overdose of my mother’s sleeping pills so that when I would have a silent peaceful death. But it did not turn out as expected. Ten minutes later I felt a sharp pain from my left rib. Immediately I developed convulsions and the next thing I knew I woke up in the hospital bed.
From there I embarked on recovery; physical recovery, emotional recovery, social recovery and mental recovery. The doctor talked to my parents and shared with them that I needed immediate counseling services. I was assigned, to Mrs. Smith who I made a great impact on my life. From then I have developed a positive mind and accepted things as they are. She walked with me through the journey and up to now we still have a tight bond and I often consult her when I need psychological support. The recovery process was not easy but I learned to cope with my resentment and bitterness. Luckily, after my sister’s graduation, she managed to secure a well-paying job and she is currently paying off her student loans. Life became much easier when I changed my attitude.
Macintyre mentions that everyone plays a subordinate role in the story of others although we are the main character in our story (MacIntyre, 2007, p. 213). Therefore, being the main character of my story, my family, and friends including Mrs. Smith, played a role in shaping my character today. Through the experience, I developed patience, resilience and an optimistic attitude to face any upcoming challenges. The people, events, and experiences from my past have contributed to my personal development and it is through the stories that people can understand me. Therefore, I would not change my past because all the good and the bad experiences have become part of me.
Reference
MacIntyre, A. (2007). After Virtue: A Study in Moral Theory. Notre Dame, Indiana: University of Notre Dame Press.
