The Influence of Social Factors on Mate Selection
The notion that “love is blind” and that romance may develop anyplace as long as there is chemistry is shared by a substantial portion of Americans, yet this is not always the case. The process of choosing a spouse is typically influenced by a variety of social factors. The majority of people look for love at some point in their lives. There are many options when choosing a mate, but most often, a person chooses one. The choosing of a mate is influenced by a variety of social influences.
Homogamy and Propinquity
Most social factors that influence choosing a mate can be roughly categorized into two categories: homogamy and propinquity. Homogamy is the practice of matching spouses based on similarities. The similarity can occur in many dimensions. For instance, people are likely to select mates who belong to the same social class, ethnicity, age group, educational qualification, religious group and sometimes level of attractiveness. There may be however some exemptions where people are attracted to dissimilar groups. For instance, terms such as interracial, interclass, and interreligious are used when people from different groups come together. People who break the homogamy concept are often viewed with distaste by others. Despite couples breaking homogamy rules, considerable social pressures exists, that compels people to adhere to them.
Propinquity, on the other hand, can be explained as the geographical proximity between two people. It is widely acknowledged that most people will choose mates who live near them. Long distances relationships do exist but in most cases, they are not successful. The contemporary technology and use of the internet are however changing things with people now courting and romancing through online platforms. The pool of potential mates is thus widening beyond the traditional home, work and school boundaries. While the technology may defy the rule of propinquity, it has the ability to increase homogamy whereby, it connects people with specific interests and identities.
Personal Experience
In my past relationships, my choice of a mate has been influenced by above factors. In my first relationship, my partner was quite far from where I lived. Although it worked for sometimes, it later became a challenge, as meeting was always a problem. Staying for long without meeting distanced us not only physically but also emotionally. Additionally, each of us became attracted to other people within our surroundings. Eventually, the relationship ended and I started dating someone who was within my vicinity.
For the new person within my geographical area, other qualities played a role in our attraction to each other, apart from propinquity. For instance, I found the person physically attractive. This is one factor I normally consider important when picking a mate due to the knowledge that we may spend a significant amount of our time together. It would be unimaginable to spend my life with a person I think is physically repellent. In the new relationship, just like the first one, I considered the personality and character of my partner. Generally, I am attracted to people who are intelligent and socially skills as I also consider myself to possess these personality traits. Characters such as kind, warm, and wise also attract me to potential partners.
Moreover, in my current and anticipated future relationships, I would choose a person who I feel we possess some similarities. For instance, I would prefer someone with the same educational qualification as me so that we can increase the common area of knowledge. This I believe ensure we get along perfectly well as there is a lot in common what we can talk about. I would also prefer someone from my race so that we can be able to speak with the same accent and when we get children, they can adopt the same speaking format.
Additionally, when choosing a partner I consider dependability. This is in terms of looking healthy and being emotionally sound. Moreover, the financial status still matters as we have to survive physically too. I would want someone who we can help each other in obtaining our necessities. Religion is another major concern for me when choosing a partner. With many religions nowadays, it is easier to get lost spiritually. I, therefore, prefer someone we can attend the same church service. This is also important for the future if we get children. When parents go to different churches, children may get confused and probably lose track when they are still young. To solve this, having a partner from my religion is the best choice.
Conclusion
Several social factors influences who we decide to become our mates and life partners. This goes beyond simple “love is blind” beliefs. The majority of these social factors falls in either homogamy or propinquity. Similarities in people in terms of aspects like race, ethnicity, educational level, social class, and religion are some of the social factors that are likely to play a role in bringing people together. However, interrelationships exist between different social groups but they face some social pressure. Geographical distance also matters but this is been broken by the coming of technology which allows people to socialize even when far apart.
