People react differently to the losing their loved ones, but one thing is evident across the different segments of populations, others appear upset, others do not. Grief and loss are dependent on individual personality, age, how they react to stress, gender, stage of development, nature of the relationship and previous death experiences (Scheither, Sneak and Waynick, 2012). Although people react to grief differently, scholars agree that grief is fundamental to our being. However, loss and grief to be manifested, there must exist some form of attachment. Hollander (2016) observed that grief results from experiencing loss- physical or emotional.
From the explanation proposed by the various proponents, it is evident physical death of a loved one is a key ingredient for grief. Hollander (2016) identified death of a family member, friend, pet and anticipatory grief as some of the contributors of grief. He defines anticipatory grief as the mourning period when death is expected in a family. Further, he describes the stages of mourning as the push to bring back the deceased, disorientation and sorrow, and the process of acceptance.
Parkes and Priggerson (2013) outline five stages of grief. First, the denial phase, at this stage the bereaved fails to acknowledge that a loss has actually occurred. The survivor convinces themselves that what might be happening is just a dream and will soon be over. Second, initial shock is replaced by a feeling of anger and blame directed towards anybody around, be it the loved ones, medical practitioners, God or oneself. Feelings of regret characterize this phase. Next, the bargaining phase where one is willing to do anything just for your loved one to be spared. Fourth, the depression stage where attention moves to the present sorrowful situation-feeling of emptiness and unworthiness. Lastly, accepting that a loved one is gone and nothing can be done to bring them back. However, experiences at these phases solely depend with an individual.
This paper explores the grieving process exhibited by children and adults, analyze the differences observed and relate the most relevant theory to each group.
Responses to Grief Across Different ages
Everyone will eventually die or lose a loved one, even though we struggle to defend ourselves from this reality at a young age (Scheither, Sneak and Waynick, 2012).
Children
Infants lack the intellectual ability to realize the demise of others or even themselves. On the other hand, they feel the loss as a result of being separated from their primary caregivers. This is their first phase of developing awareness to death (Parkes and Priggerson 2013). Children ranging between the ages of 9-10 years, begin struggling to comprehend the meaning of death in relation to the information they receive from others. At this age children begin to learn that death is unavoidable, scary and final. However, they believe that death only occurs to older people. Young school going children may display cases such as being afraid of darkness and withdrawal after the loss of loved ones or parents.
Adolescents, on the other hand, understand that the irreversibility and the permanent nature of death, and that it affects everybody regardless of age. However, their understanding reveals denial. They are capable of thoughtful reflections on life and death and mostly engage on pertinent questions touching on their reason for existence, thinking they carry all through to their adult lives. Adolescents react to loses in very unhealthy manners like engaging in drug abuse, taking adult task before they mature, appear not focused and in many instances blame themselves for the death of a loved one. Some teens behave like they are not bothered at all concerning the developments.
Adults
Most adults fully understand death, its impacts and the complete underlying factors surrounding death. In many cases, adults tend to confront their own deaths anxiously and might feel uncomfortable; others seek guidance from older people. The older have undergone through a lot in life, hence more mature in understanding loss and grief than their counterparts in the early stages of adulthood. As their years progress they mature in handling grief through experiencing multiple loss of loved ones (Scheither, Sneak and Waynick, 2012).
The elderly spend most of their times rekindling past experiences or thinking about things they could have done differently with their lives (Hollander,2016). In many instances, when a loved one dies, what goes on in their minds is why they are still alive. In the event of loss of a loved one, adults generally appear preoccupied with meeting the needs of those who the loss directly affect for example orphans. They consider the expression of sadness as a weakness and may resort to drugs or alcohol to reduce the pain. In instances where traumatic or unexpected death occurs, adults tend to experience complicated grief and appear extremely shocked.
Conclusion
A thorough analysis of the levels of grief as displayed by the different age groups reveals that however old or mature one may be, grief is normal but if poorly controlled leads to devastating effects across all populations. In my view, Parkes’ and Priggerson’s (2013) five stages of grief management still remain the best approach to grief.
References
Hollander, T. (2016). Ambiguous Loss and Complicated Grief: Understanding the Grief of Parents of the Disappeared in Northern Uganda. Journal Of Family Theory " Review, 8(3), 294-307.
Parkes, C. M., " Prigerson, H. G. (2013). Bereavement: Studies of grief in adult life. Routledge.
Scheider, D. M., Sneath, L., " Waynick, T. C. (2012). Grief and loss.
