People find it challenging to communicate with one another and persuade them to believe someone else's statements because of the complexity of human personality. To convince someone of something requires excruciating effort. Through persuasion, word choice in conversation works magic. Great speakers use catchy one-liners to persuade the audience. Researchers also list the various communication methods individuals employ to make a similar impact. By combining these with the rhetorical ideas of ethics, pathos, and logos, one can persuade others and achieve the desired outcomes. In his book "Words that Win: What to say to get what you want," Don Gabor outlined straightforward communication tactics. Ronald Adler and Russell Proctor proved existing mechanisms of communications in their book “Looking out Looking in.” A comparison of these two books lists the points of convergence and agreement that these authors found. This paper summarizes the points by Don Gabor, compares with the research by Russell and Ronald, and describes the relationship the book has with me as a reader.
Summary
Gabor published his book, “Words that Win: What to say to get what you want” in 2003. The book, produced by Prentice Hall Press, covers the different mechanisms people can use in communicating with others (Gabor 1). His message is directed to people looking for improvements in deals at work and restaurants. When people speak smart, their listeners let them have their way and give them whatever they want and can access. One strategy Gabor feels people should develop in communication is the speaking style. Crystal and sharp speaking styles are helpful to people who need to pass new information and confirm a point. Individuals must choose the correct language and conform to the audience that determines the styles of communication largely.
Combining the techniques of communication with charisma, proper argument, healthy relationships and strategies of saying ‘no’ are indispensable methods of winning. People must identify themselves as willing to progress when communicating. At times, using a serious mood while communicating switches people off. Charisma entertains and draws people to one’s appeals. After people develop the attraction towards an individual because of his charisma, he or she must ensure a relationship with them. Such relationships must have boundaries including the times when a person says no or yes. These win individuals better services.
Gabor develops the strategies people can utilize to win at the workplace. Workplaces are full of promotions and demotions that can increase or reduce one’s worth. Everybody will demand a promotion in most instances. Some of the best strategies to use are having better relationships with co-workers and clients, increasing the selling tips of an individual, rejecting bad services and low-quality services, build better relationships with people. These strategies make people develop indispensable and strong bonds with each other (Gabor 288). Bosses and other people do no avoid an individual easily when they notice such determinations. An example of a working case is the selling in business when a person makes the right sales and increase the profits. Management or personal business improves in these cases and raises the status of an individual.
Relationship with Class Book
Adler and Proctor researched on the right communication strategies in their book that people need to have proper relationships with others. Two chapters are outstanding in the book: Communication and Relational Dynamics (Chapter 8) and Interpersonal communication in close relationships (Chapter 9). These two researchers agree with Gabor on several issues. One of the agreements is the strategies of communicating to each other. Adler and Proctor developed ways people can use to approach communication with each other. The first is the content and information to present. In their argument, Adler, and Proctor agree with Gabor that the substance of the message must be credible to convince the other parties. When other people are confident, they have accepted the information people give to them and make their concepts increase and change in form.
Building relationships at the workplace are two concepts as the authors agree on. Workplaces need time for one to be accepted and understood. People need to socialize and pass little messages to win the trust of others, as Adler and Proctor state (257). Gabor explained that these concepts stretch in workplaces and convince either the other colleagues or management. All these strategies must have a boost of charisma from individuals. One particular factor to note during the communication stage in this section is the circumscription strategies people use. As Adler and Proctor explained, this focuses on the individuals and their needs. Gabor agrees with this by explaining how individuals should have most of their needs and communication speaking more of their needs and selves.
Effective communication from people should get somebody what they need. It is important to have individuals communicate in different ways and get away with what they desire. People desire several things from others and ensures they get the quality from them. When people develop proper friendships, they understand the sustenance they develop for each other. This is necessary for interpersonal friendships and the growth of such bonds. As Gabor identifies, people work to influence others by developing friendships then identifying what substance them. These common topics relate to me in different ways as a communicator and point to the changes I can make to my communication styles and other relationships.
Relationship to Me as a Communicator
Communication strategies and winning styles are important concepts people need to get their desires. I learn from the writers the different ways I need to employ in communicating with others. The first is building credible points and information to pass. I realize it fits my strategy of developing trust and using to convince people in making new techniques. Sometimes, my approach to communication fits this description while it differs at times. When speaking to people close to me, I use strong words, which do not reflect when I speak to people whom I do not have a close relationship with. I also experience the same situation discussed in the books of aspiring to get r services. My problem comes when I try to choose places people recommend without a demand for a compensation of other services and locations I needed. This does not augur well with what Gabor discussed as a proper way of asking for payment from people. I feel I convince the information they present to convince other people in a better way than I do now.
From the communication styles described by the writers, I gain two important concepts to apply. One is developing influence through communication and learning when to say no. Developing friendships become comfortable and strengthens when I become charismatic. Even though people identify me as charismatic, I do not believe I used this effectively to win influence from other people. It is wise to have this concept as a way of keeping people strongly bonded to me. Together with the charisma, borrow knowledge of what to say when in need of services. The services I seek should meet the quality I need. It is not wise to reject services and move to another place seeking the same. Sometimes, it becomes useful to request in the best language for services if one is not satisfied. This means understanding when an individual should say no or yes to other people. I should notice the changes from the applications of these principles to my status in relating with other people.
Recommendation
I can recommend the book to another reader who wants to develop proper communication to convince other people when seeking their favors or services. The author lists the different strategies and concepts to apply to the diverse environments and people we come across. Using such strategies, one can interpret them to real life situations to solve their cases. Individuals, who have not read the book should add to their book list, read it and apply the concepts to real life situations. Adding it to the publication by Adler and Proctor improves the ability to develop communications that are more interpersonal.
Works Cited
Adler, Ronald, and Russell Proctor. Looking out Looking in. 15th ed., Wordsworth Publishing, 2013.
Gabor, Don. Words That Win: What to Say to Get What You Want. Prentice Hall Press, 2003.
