“here and now” In due respect, as we begin the session, I will recommend a path that Stan should follow. I will direct him to stress the present situation and not to dwell excessively on the past.
In the case of Stan, there are numerous unfinished enterprises that significantly impact Stan. Stan hasn’t completed school yet, but he is 35 years old and is already about to launch his career. This causes Stan a sense of pity and a lack of self-worth. He plans to be a tutor for girls, but he is now working in construction but hopes to move on. He still seeks a woman that he can love and care for as his wife left him. He is therefore stuck in his current situation of wanting to achieve success, however, being limited by current obligations such as work hence he cannot study full time.
Stan experiences self-doubt and resentment to himself due to the constant repetition of bad labels on him by his parents and wife. In order to help Stan overcome the bondage of this bad labels and pain, I would design a Fantasy experiment to help him deal with the pain and resentment. The experiment entails Stan imagining how it would feel if he lets go of the negative labels that have been put on him. He starts by imagining that he is a successful man who is strong, with high self-esteem and a person of value as well as someone good in sex. This shall greatly help Stan see that he is actually capable of achieving his goals and letting go of the pain because he reaffirms to himself that he is a person of value and he sees it in his fantasy. He shall be willing to get close to a woman as the fear of not being good in bed will reduce. The design of the experiment is based on the urgent need currently, and that is to help Stan believe in himself and let go of the pain thus helping him overcome alcoholism.
Stan’s cultural message on interaction with people entails one of success i.e. for people to interact meaningfully they have to have achieved something. His definition of a man is one who is good in bed and successful thus he is intimidated around women. I would respect his cultural values and encourage him to change his notion that only successful people should interact and form social connections.