Women: Gender ideology

The hitherto male-dominated work market has seen the entry of women. The propensity of couples to adopt their ideal gender role is shaped by ideologies. As a result, in families that frequently identify themselves using the most pervasive myths, this fact is viewed as a cause of conflict or unity. Surprisingly, men tend to neglect household duties and childcare responsibilities. Women are therefore required to fill these tasks and perform additional household chores. It consequently makes it difficult for her to concentrate on her marriage, family, and job. According to the writer's research, women provide an additional month's worth of effort to their families. Unlike men, married women lack time to indulge in activities and hobbies they used to love. Women’s potential is thus drained because their energies are exploited, and they may be forced to forego the attention they dedicate to their husbands or kids. Men, on the other hand, face less pressure since their traditional gender roles allow them to balance work and family adequately.

Gender ideology is an individual’s expectations of the behaviors that are associated with a particular sexual category. A traditional doctrine believes that the woman should remain at home to fully participate in homely duties while the man goes out to work and provide for the family.





The egalitarian perceives the career pursuits of both the man and woman deserve equal attention, and thus the two should share parental and housework responsibilities. A transitional ideology incorporates the principles of the traditional and the egalitarian philosophies. That is, the woman pursues her career, takes care of the family, and also gets help from the man.

Gender strategy is employed either consciously or unconsciously, to fulfill one’s ideologies. For instance, a man in the writer’s study agreed to attempt to share chores with his wife, but he never lacked excuses to avoid cooking and cleaning. He agreed with the wife’s transitional ideology yet his actions portrayed a traditional man. His wife laid out various strategies to see her family become egalitarian. For example, she convinced her husband to cook certain days of the week and made a list to facilitate it. The husband, on the contrary, made efforts to remain the traditional man by finding reasons not to help in the house chores.

The presence or absence of gratitude among spouses significantly impacts their marriage. A couple featured by the writer conflicts in their perception of gifting. A man offers his wife the opportunity to stay home and nurse their child, but the wife declines. She misinterprets that and thinks that the husband does not appreciate her career. Instead, she chooses to offer her spouse the gift of working partner. The wife sees that her career would add to the family’s gross income and uphold their social status, whereas the man looks at his offer as a relief for his woman to concentrate on the family.

Family myths are the tools that spouses use to unite their current situations with their expectations. For example, a traditional husband with an egalitarian wife forms an explanation to describe their home structure. The circumstance is typically traditional with the husband doing jobs he loves to do with his son. That is viewed by the family as a man looking after the cars and watching out for their child. All the remaining house chores are the woman’s responsibility. Remarkably, the members of the home have developed a myth that reconciles their two situations. For instance, they wish to achieve equality but are tired of the struggles and opted to view an unfair allocation of tasks contrary to what it indeed is.



Chapter 5

Both Carmen and Frank share the ideology that the man’s role is to provide while the woman has a special place in her home. Thus, the two have a traditional approach concerning gender roles. However, economic needs force Carmen to work at her day-care center away from their home. Despite desiring to be a stay-at-home mother, she still holds on to her work because she enjoys her job and needs the money for family expenses. At home, Frank often helps with certain household chores excluding childcare, which makes their practices egalitarian.

According to Frank, household chores would be tiresome for Carmen to handle on her own. Therefore, they came up with a solution that suits them well. Carmen is not good at paying bills, cooking rice, and grocery shopping. Consequently, Frank takes up the tasks that Carmen is terrible at doing since he does better than his spouse. He voluntarily helps with other housework whenever he feels that Carmen is overwhelmed by them. In their family myth, they agree that indeed they believe in traditional ideologies but practice a transition kind of life.

Carmen’s economy of gratitude is evident in the fact that she still goes to work despite believing that in the traditional notion of the woman’s place to be at home and the man’s role to provide. In support of the ideology that circumstances of life have forced them to live, Carmen still goes to the day-care to make more money despite wanting to stay home and take care of her family. That is her strategy towards the transitional ideology that she has adopted.





Similarly, Frank offers her economy of gratitude when he recognizes that house chores sometimes overwhelm Carmen and offers to help. He has a strategy for his transitional family that practices transitional roles. For instance, Frank utilize his skills in doing tasks that prove a challenge for Carmen. Regardless of his belief in the home duties being traditionally for the wife, he still steps in when the need arises.

Tough economic times make it impossible for a household to depend on the man solely. Though Carmen would have appreciated staying home to take care of her children, she cannot afford that. The fact that she runs a day-care center business in her town demonstrates the absence of mothers in the daily lives of their young ones. Homes have become demanding with more women stepping in the gap for their husbands. The fact that Frank helps mainly helps with chores other than childcare highlights how society defined people’s attitudes towards specific tasks. Children need both parents to be there to bring them up and offer guidance. However, particular beliefs set boundaries on the participation of fathers in individual roles. It is remarkable that Frank and Carmen bridge the gap of their shortcomings to complement each other at home. Carmen runs a business to get the extra income that would otherwise strain Frank to provide. Likewise, Frank shops and pays the bills that Carmen does not enjoy doing. Circumstances have made them drift from their prevailing beliefs of a traditional ideology, but they still adjust to transition. To prevent her wife from draining all her energy in unpaid work, he steps in to ensure that she replenishes herself.

Chapter 6

On top, Peter is the transitional couple, but they are traditional underneath. Both have professional careers that they pursue but also believe in the traditional place of the man and the woman. Nina would not allow her husband to do any household chores because she thinks that it is the role of the woman. Notably, Peter is emotionally supportive, and he helps to take care of their daughter while his wife is cleaning and cooking. Upon her promotion at work, Nina pushes herself further to do more tasks for her husband at home to compensate for his ego.

Peter’s economy of gratitude is in the fact that he supports his wife’s promotion at work. Indeed, the idea of his wife earning more salary than himself is bruising to the ego of a man with traditional ideologies at his core. However, he sacrifices his pride and allows Nina to shine and bring more income to their home. She appreciates his husband appreciation by pushing herself harder to please him more. On top of doing all the housework, Nina would wait for his man and massage his foot often. However, she is overwhelmed by the bulk of the responsibilities that have come with her promotion and economy of gratitude for the husband.

Nina needs to work more at work due to the new duties that come with a promotion. Similarly, she is trying to massage her husband’s ego by doing more things for him so that he does not feel intimidated by the fact that she earns more money than the man. Peter does not help Nina whatsoever because she would not allow it. Indeed, Nina is getting overwhelmed by the demands of her life.

Economic needs forced Peter to allow his woman to earn more money than he gets himself. In most societies, it is intimidating for the wife to have more material things than his husband because the man is traditionally tagged as the provider. The highest a wife is expected to get in most instances is the equal of her husband. Exceeding the money Peter earns was humiliating for Peter. However, that did not hinder him from applauding Nina and allowing him to keep working. He was concerned that it would compromise his manhood significantly (pg. 88). Nina worked hard for the promotion at work and thus, it would have been unfortunate if her husband did not support her. She had a responsibility of expressing gratitude to him in the best way possible. Though her job was demanding of her time and energy, she could not risk asking to ask the husband to help. Probably, Peter would have felt belittled for not matching up to his wife’s financial capabilities. Therefore, Nina strained herself to take the second shift at home despite being overwhelmed by employment already. In the long-run, her ideologies cannot support her new realities. She would wish to be the ideal transitional woman who does everything at home, but still supports the financial needs of the family. The balance among her daughter, husband, and the job might not be possible for Nina. She will have the option of allowing her husband to help her with the housework, or risk being inadequate in performing other duties. Both family and promotion at work are equally demanding, and it is likely that Nina has a dilemma of letting one go.

Connection

Daisy and Noah both are childhood friends who grew up in a rural village, and their ideologies have been shaped by their upbringing. Initially, they shared the traditional doctrine that the man needs to provide while the woman takes charge of their home. After getting married, the two moved to live in a busy urban center. Since Noah lacked a college education, his strategy was to do manual jobs to provide for the family. Daisy, on the other hand, took care of the children at home, cooked, and cleaned. However, the woman realized that her husband was straining in his role of a provider and decided to look for a job as an economy of gratitude. However, the husband did not appreciate that kind of help because of his firm belief in the traditional ideology. But still, he returned the favor by coming home early and helping to babysit their little son. Daisy and Noah would want to have a traditional family, but their reality is different. Thus, their family myth of reconciling that is that Noah helps to babysit while Daisy works to supplement their income; but remain a traditional family where the man provides the more substantial portions, and the woman does most of the chores.

Circumstances often conflict with the ideologies that men and women believe to be the ideal roles of each gender. Similarly, it defines spouses’ outlook on gratitude towards acts done as a sacrifice on one party. Women’s second-shift should also be undertaken by men to ease them of pressures of balancing work and family.











Work cited

Hochschild, Arlie, and Anne Machung. The second shift: Working families and the revolution at home. Penguin, 2012.