Two Views in Contrast

“Others often know us better than we know ourselves” and “he loves me, he loves me not...., Confusion will increase romantic attraction” are essays that look at how people get to know each other better and therefore appreciate each other. Despite the fact that each author has a different perspective on human interaction and the discrepancies in emotional feelings between man and woman, both writers skillfully structure their viewpoints and choose their words. For instance, Vazire structures her essay majorly, using an alternating tone and perspective (Vazire, Simine, and Erika, 330). She captures the paradox where other people’s inner feelings rely upon others’ views regardless of whether they know each other well or not. Also, she proves that in many respects we see every day the reality that other people can have insights into other person’s dilemma, prejudices that are entirely opaque to their owner (Hannum). Vazire, in her article, switches the tone of the article from one segment of the paper to the other. Notably, in the first paragraph, she expresses a clear and subjective tone. It is followed by sections in which she drifts to a factual and objective tone. It is then seen throughout the essay. In contrast, Whitchurch’s article begins with a rather personal tone, and this is maintained throughout the paper He states that “based on looking at your Facebook profile, and these men thought they would like you (Whitchurch, Erin, Timothy, and Daniel, 338). This tone doesn’t change all through.

Moreover, the two essays differ in their view with regards to how people understand and know their personality and how this knowledge influences their decisions. “Others sometimes know us better than we know ourselves” creates a scenario where humans tend to see that they know themselves more than what their friends, as well as strangers, know about themselves. It clarifies that this is not the case since people tend to know themselves less than what friends have in mind concerning them. Notably, while a person may be accurate in assessing himself or herself, it then occurs that friends, as well as strangers, will then tend to be better barometers who will portray the characters like being creativity and intelligence in understanding what others think about themselves (Oishi, Shigehiro, 1750). However, “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not…” demonstrate that people, especially women, make important life decisions sometimes without considering and understanding their inner selves. It suggests that women tend to be more attracted to their male counterpart whose feelings for the ladies are somewhat unclear.” Participants were more attracted to men who liked them a lot than to men who liked them an average amount” (Whit church, Erin, Timothy, and Daniel, 173). Vazire and Whitchurch contrast their viewpoints of knowledge and women getting attracted to the men for different reasons.

Additionally, there is an apparent difference in the gender of characters used by the authors. The characters, experiments, and conclusions displayed by Whitchurch’s essay are purely female centred. In his study, he demonstrates that “College women viewed the Facebook profiles of four male students who had previously viewed their profiles” (Whitchurch, Erin, Timothy, and Daniel, 173). By only using characters from a single gender Whitchurch’s, postulations faces a lot of criticism and calls for a future review of the work to be inclusive of male subjects, where the men's attraction towards women who view their profiles could be studied as well (Lun,957). On the contrary, Vazire’s article which uses both the male and female subjects. She differently uses of both characters warm and friendly to illustrate how attention is given to each other. Shen then concludes that “a complete picture of what a person is like requires both the person’s perspective and the perspectives of others who know him or her well” (Vazire, Simine, and Erika, 104). This is the reason the people are made to be careful before making final judgments about a particular person. Unlike Whitchurch, she does not specify any gender or demonstrates any gender biases that could create the criticism seen in Whitchurch’s paper.

Despite differing in the structures of their literature and their thoughts on personality and decision making, the two works of literature are similar in their view of how social media influences human behavior. Vazire illustrates how people view different issues on the social media such as Facebook. With regards to social media, she mentions that "Everything you touch you leave a mark of your personality," suggesting that everything that people are involved in social media, they unknowingly leave some traces that people will never forget them (Batra, Rajeev, Aaron and Richard, 14). The press shows that a hint of one’s personality that he or she may not even know somebody else has discovered and recognized it. Similarly, Whitchurch uses the example of female participant whom he assigns different feedbacks from a group of men who viewed their Facebook profiles. In this case, Whitchurch shows that liking somebody has something to do about with beauty and appearance in the media. The two writers both focused on the influences of press on how and why people may be judged or presumed to be. However, it is clear that the Whitchurch is uncertain concerning how potential romantic persons do feel about one another in that it increases the level of attraction.

Lastly, the writes in the two pieces of literature use empirical models or tools to prove their views on human psychology and behavior. Vazire highlights on self-other knowledge asymmetry (SOKA) model and how this experimental model can predict which personalities could best be self-judged and which others could judge ones. The tool was used to test a group of some volunteers who were to be assigned different tasks. Similarly, Whitchurch employed empirical analysis in concluding to prove the influence of social media on behavior and decision making. He takes a study experiment done on college women to test their reactions towards four men who had viewed their profiles. He concluded that “Comparison of the first two yielded results consistent with reciprocity principle” (Anderson, 499). This was a conclusion based entirely on an experimental study, just like Vazire’s.


In conclusion, Vazire and Whitchurch express both similarities and differences in their views on human behavior and relationships. In both, it is clear that they major their ideas on the current life situations, romance, and attraction between individuals. They share the same sentiments on how and why people find themselves knowing or having different perceptions of others even without even the individuals being aware. They both indicate the effect of social media on people’s relationships and to demonstrate how it is possible to get interested in a person who has bear direct influence you. Although they differ in their tones, structure of their literature and the subjects and characters used, it is necessary to understand that we Vazire and Whitchurch are basing their different arguments on the human perception and are trying to create the understanding of how life is with human interaction.

Works Cited

Anderson, Harlene. "Myths about “not‐knowing.”" Family Process 44.4 (2005): 497-504.

Batra, Rajeev, Aaron Ahuvia, and Richard P. Bagozzi. "Brand love." Journal of Marketing 76.2 (2012): 1-16.

Hannum, Kelly. Social identity: Knowing yourself, knowing others. Vol. 126. John Wiley & Sons, 2011.

Lun, Janetta, et al. "(Why) do I think what you think? Epistemic social tuning and implicit prejudice." Journal of personality and social psychology 93.6 (2007): 957.

Oishi, Shigehiro, et al. "The role of familiarity in daily well-being: developmental and cultural variation." Developmental psychology 47.6 (2011): 1750.

Vazire, Simine, and Erika N. Carlson. "Others sometimes know us better than we

knowourselves." Becoming an active reader. A complete resource for reading for reading and writing. Ed. Eric Henderson, 2nd ed. Don Mills, Ontario: Oxford UP Canada, 2016: 329-336.

Whitchurch, Erin R., Timothy D. Wilson, and Daniel T. Gilbert. "“He Loves Me, He Loves Me

Not...” Uncertainty Can Increase Romantic Attraction." Psychological Science 22.2 (2011): 172-175. Becoming an active reader. A complete resource for reading for reading and writing. Ed. Eric Henderson, 2nd ed. Don Mills, Ontario: Oxford UP Canada, 2016: 337-343.

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