While interpersonal communication can help foster positive relationships, among other advantages, there is a dark side to it that can be harmful and unethical. This is called deception, and unfortunately, this dark side of interpersonal communication is prevalent, more than anyone can expect. According to the book “Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others” by Mark Redmond, Steven Beebe and Susan Beebe, interpersonal deception theory was developed to explain the process of deception and detection between two individuals or parties during interpersonal communications (292). In this interpersonal communication, one intentionally manipulates details to deceive the other person who, in turn, decides whether to believe it or not. The deceiver even uses strategies to avoid being caught.
Deception seems to be a common part of our lives. People tend to omit information (deception by omission) or to deliberately use false information (deception by commission). Among the less harmful form of deception is called “white lies”, which involves falsifying information that has little to virtually no consequence, such as telling someone you like the Beatles when you don’t even know them (Redmond 293). People can also exaggerate a detail of an event to make him look good in front of other people For some, telling such lies is okay because it can’t really harm other people. Meanwhile, people tend to deceive others and twist information or details for many reasons. It can be because they want to protect your image or someone else, such as a family or a friend, to avoid a negative consequence at work, or to avoid conflict with another person. The darker intentions, however, come when a person intentionally falsify information (baldfaced lie) to deceive others because of his desire to acquire personal gains such as money or other material things (Redmond 293).
While the reasons can be argued as based on good intentions, committing deceiving acts in communicating with others can result in negative implications. When you try to avoid hurting the feelings of your friend by telling her she looks good in her new dress when in fact it doesn’t complement her shoes or accessories, there is a risk that someone else will tell her the truth and she would be angry at you for letting her go out in public in that outfit. More serious that this is when you are caught lying about an important action you made, you lose the trust of the other person, and in the long run, even if you are telling nothing but the truth, he or she may no longer believe in what you are saying. So instead of doing damage control, the harm becomes larger. Moreover, when you omit an information that someone should know, there is a risk that person would commit uninformed decisions, which could result in a more grave situation.
In the end, the best way to go is to be honest. Strive to be as truthful as you can be. And even when you can’t please everyone, you can have a peace of mind that you are not deceiving anyone. Telling the truth can sometimes be hurtful, but it is what it is. By building your reputation as an honest and truthful person, you are also building a good image, especially among the people close to you. This will help you build positive relationships as well.
Works Cited
Redmond, Mark, Steven Beebe, and Susan Beebe. Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others. Pearson: 2014.
