1. The essay is very interesting. The introduction is captivating to the audience, particularly the first sentence where the writer states that although Collin College means everything to her, there is a pressing issue that ought to be addressed. From this sentence, readers are able to get an insight of what the essay is about; although a particular problem is not identified at this point, it is obvious that there is an issue.
2. The writer has adopted the SMART dimension to writer up the thesis statement which is clear and identifiable. The thesis of the text is: I’m proposing that the amount of online classes increases due to the rising number of students that want to take them, and because a lot of us don’t have any other choice. This statement is focused and understandable since the writer has addressed the purpose of the letter.
3. All the 3 body paragraphs have topic sentences that clearly outline the point addressed in each of them. The writer highlights in every topic sentence the reason for reasons why there is need to expand online classes at the college. With clearly stated thesis statements, the topic sentences appear effective.
4. The concluding sentences for body paragraphs 1 and 2 address the topic sentences and the paragraph contents. In the second body paragraph, for instance, the topic sentence highlights that some students do not have an option but to take the online courses due to limited time. The writer then concludes that, “but I’m hoping Collin College takes into consideration that some of us have no other option.” This clearly summarizes the topic sentence. The third body paragraph in page 3, however, has no focused concluding sentence. The writer completes it by using narrating her experience with the online system rather than summarizing the topic sentence. A sentence could be added to make the summary.
5. All the points have been explained and articulated by the writer. The three key points the author addresses include: the online classes enhance flexibility and do not involve traveling; the online classes are effective for those who have multiple schedules; and many institutions are currently considering the teaching technique as a key educational approach. These points have been supported with personal examples used as evidence.
6. All the evidences that the writer has used relate to the paragraphs. For instance, in supporting the idea that online classes are flexible for those who are busy, she explains that she is always very busy during the day and thus, the system favors her.
7. The author clear transits from one point to another in the different paragraphs. In addition, all the paragraphs support the thesis statement as they justify why the college should consider expanding the online education platform.
8. The conclusion is effective as it summarizes the content of the essay without repletion. He concluding sentence is very provocative; he cautions that if the college fails to consider the significance of the online platform, then he would be forced to reconsider her school of choice. This would prompt the school to consider the recommendation.
9. The grammar of the essay is correct, and the sentence fragments are accurate including spellings and word usage. Except for few commas that were to be added.
10. The essay is very impressive. The organization is right as expected, and the thesis statement is clearly written. It also addresses all topic sentences which are supported effectively. The word usage is accurate and easy to understand. One suggestion would be to expand the conclusion to make it similar in size with the other paragraphs.
