Divorce is quite often a despondent event set apart by disillusionment and the loss of dreams and desires. Also, there are normally several financial, emotional, legal, parental, and functional viewpoints that require changes in routines and responsibilities, and it can take individuals years to recover. In any case, divorce serves an imperative function in emotionally and legally liberating individuals to form more stable relationships (Miller, 2018, p. 414). A standout amongst the most critical events of the twentieth century was the changing role of women and improving their status in both the public and private, alongside instilling more prominent desires for happiness. Those same changes led to the rising rates and liberalization of divorce laws. This paper will provide an in-depth discussion on divorce by looking into causes and effects on both children and adolescents, and also couples.
Causes of the rising divorce rates
There are several causes of the rising rates of divorce. First, lack of communication is cited as the major cause of divorce. Individuals do not know how to talk and listen to each other. The most essential conversations individuals have are with their partners, however, they put less effort into astutely expressing themselves and listening to their partners (Nancy Marie Brown, 2002). It is additionally common for partners to prefer avoiding discussions that they fear will cause pain to them or their spouses. In the event that they cannot communicate, solving marital issues is problematic, since the easiest approach to building trust in a relationship is through honest and transparent communication.
Secondly, high expectations is another major cause of divorce. Expectations and laziness may go as an inseparable unit with regards to predicting whether a marriage will end (Hal Arkowitz, Scott O. Lilienfeld, 2013). That woman who purchases the costly wedding outfit presumably also has relatively higher expectations of marriage. Spouses make a many presumptions when getting married and what they are expecting from a marriage. These depend on numerous problems and factors that emerge when the marriage does not meet the expectations. These expectations seldom line up with the realities of life inside marriage. For example, society has taught women that men want sex, are always thinking about sex and that sex is their second nature (Hal Arkowitz, Scott O. Lilienfeld, 2013). Thus, in the event that as a woman you marry a man, you can anticipate that he will want sex with you. This gives women the wrong idea of marriage that it is only about sex, thus when they meet a different reality, copying becomes difficult.
Infidelity is another cause of divorce. A man or woman who characterized his own principles when it came to sex, he or she did not consider sex and it was not their second nature, then they marry a partner who anticipated they would want more sex implies that there would be issues in the marriage that will prompt to a separation (Miller, 2018, p. 412). One of the major issue here will be infidelity. If a partner had expressed their lack of sex drive before marriage, they would not have married. Here is where expectations and communication plays a part in the aftermath of the unions.
Thirdly, unwillingness to compromise in relationships is big issue. Compromise is hard, however, couple ought to agree on major aspects of life such as finance, children and so on before marriage. For instance, a family in which the wife quit using contraceptives without the husband's knowledge and deliberately conceives (Fischel-Wolovick, Lisa, author, 2018). What will result over the years is atrocious abuse to the younger child or the woman. This would lead to divorce.
Fourth, women’s changing roles is a major cause of divorce. Previously, men had to work to pay for family expenses, while women only did housework, henceforth ladies had no money compelling them to rely on their spouse’s finances (Miller, 2018, p. 421). Under these circumstances, it was relatively had for majority of women to separate from their partners. However, the situation is different these days. Equality between women and men is clear right now, therefore women can work to acquire their own money, and men participate in family tasks, such as, washing, cleaning, cooking, and also looking after children (Nancy Marie Brown, 2002). This has made women independent such that when issues arise, they are quick to separate.
Lastly, stress in modern living is another cause of divorce. Majority of people living in globalization are under a lot of pressures to make money (Kelly, 2012). This stress starts even while they are youngsters. For example, students largely desire to go to celebrated schools since studying in such schools or university is related to having an opportunity to find good jobs or earning a lot of income (Fischel-Wolovick, Lisa, author, 2018). Many of the people are laid off; therefore the pressure builds on their family, which may lead to divorce. A few families can earn some money, however, this might not be enough to cover family expenses, and thus it is easily to consider divorce.
Impacts of divorce
Divorce has many impacts on people. It introduces massive changes into children’s life regardless of their age. Seeing loss of love between their parents, witnessing them breaking their vows, adjusting to drifting between two distinct families, and the gradual, but persistent absence of one parent essentially create a new challenging family dynamic (Miller, 2018, p. 420). It creates a relatively distinctive reactions to this painful unforeseen development if the girl or boy is still in childhood or has entered puberty. Fundamentally, separation has a tendency to increase a child's dependence and to accelerate an adolescent’s independence. It regularly evokes a destructive reaction children and adolescents.
For children, the separation shakes trust in reliance on parents who are living in an unpredictable manner. They surgically partition the households into two unique parts between which the child must learn how to drift between, creating unfamiliarity, insecurity and instability for a while (Miller, 2018, p. 423). The child is not able to be with one parent without being separated from the other. Essentially, children who experience childhood in a united, two-parent family with the two biological parents preform much better on a variety of outcomes than those who grow in divorced families (Payette, Robert, author, 1993). Single parenthood is not the main reason for the juvenile delinquency, teenage pregnancy, higher rates of school dropout, or any other negative things, however, it contributes to these issues. Singles parenthood does not meant that children will not be successful since many who grow in a single parent family become successful.
Divorce impacts couple physically, mentally, emotionally, and economically. It also impacts the couple’s present and future relationships (Miller, 2018, p. 419). In spite of the transcendent conviction that there are only negative effects (deficiency point of view), separation actually benefits some individuals. Ideally seen as a process as opposed to a discrete occasion, it impacts people before it even happens, immediately after the separation, and years later (Kelly, 2012). Due to the policy and political ramifications of the financial circumstances related with divorce, a lot of consideration has been placed on its economic effects. In the United States, women largely experience a decline in their financial status after a divorce, while men on the other hand experience slight increases or lesser declines in their financial conditions.
Consequently, according to Nancy Brown (2002), divorcees show higher level of anxiety and depression than married people. They also have a tendency to have poorer self-concept and show more symptoms of mental distress (Nancy Marie Brown, 2002). Those with a past experience of at least two separations report essentially more depression than married people or those with one past divorce. These suggests the cumulative nature of stress that is caused by separation.
Divorcees also experience more health issues and higher death rates than non-divorced individuals. Adults who are divorced are more risk takers (e.g., higher rates of alcohol and drug abuse). Specifically among those divorced recently, there is an increased risk for disease, probably because of weaker immune system due to the pressure related with divorce. Social networks and relationships are affected by divorce in many ways (Nancy Marie Brown, 2002). Divorcees largely undergo more social isolation, having lesser interpersonal relationships. This is because they have less in common with their friends who are married. In addition, friends may also be divided between the couple just like other the conjugal assets, as friends can take sides in the conflict.
Conclusion
As can be seen, divorce is not about unhappiness or infidelity. It can be avoided away by those ready to work hard at marriage, the individuals who have effective communication skills and those whose desires are practical. Nine out of ten time if a spouse cheats, they do so because of issues in the marriage. Issues that could have been settled if the something has been done, there had been realistic expectations and communication. This is the same case with the individuals who cite "falling out of love" or "growing apart". Marriages and intimate relationships must be nurtured, if not they succumb to problems.
References
Fischel-Wolovick, Lisa, author. (2018). Traumatic divorce and separation: The impact of domestic violence and substance abuse in custody and divorce.
Hal Arkowitz, Scott O. Lilienfeld. (2013, March 1). Is Divorce Bad for Children? Retrieved from https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/
Kelly, J. B. (2012). Risk and Protective Factors Associated with Child and Adolescent Adjustment Following Separation and Divorce. Parenting Plan Evaluations, 48-84. doi:10.1093/med:psych/9780199754021.003.0003
Miller, R. S. (2018). Intimate relationships (7th ed.).
Nancy Marie Brown. (2002, January 1). Happy Marriages: Studying the Causes and Effects of Divorce | Penn State University. Retrieved from https://news.psu.edu/story/140669/2002/01/01/research/happy-marriages-studying-causes-and-effects-divorce
Payette, Robert, author. (1993). Adolescents' perceptions of parents and parents' marital status.
