The general trend in the divorce rates over the last 80 years is that there has been a decline in the recent years. Some of the commonly cited explanations for high divorce rate in the U.S. since 1960 include irreconcilable differences, feminism, and finances.
The consequences of the no-fault divorce laws in the 1970s are that it potentially increased divorce rates
Divorce pessimists cite several negative consequences of divorce as family breakups, misguided perceptions about marriage and relationships. For children, the impact of divorce affects their social behavior, depression, distress and academic studies.
The optimist key arguments about divorce are that it can help save relationships in that couples who divorce amicably, can realize their own mistakes and reasons for wanting to divorce thus separating in order to reduce conflict.
Coontz proposes mutual understanding and respect, no-fault, as a way to minimize negative consequences of divorce
Pessimist family scholars advocate for open communication, problem-solving, couples therapy as some of the ways to reduce the divorce rate
Over the last 20 years, the relationship between class and divorce tendency has shown that those of a high social class are most likely to get divorced. This is based on their economic and social capabilities as compared to those of lower classes.
Research shows that about 67% of second marriages are likely to end in divorce (Banschick).
The problems children, more so girls are likely to face in stepfamilies include adjusting, poor parental relationship, and feeling left out in the new family setting.
A family setting that is more likely to produce problems for children and the stepparents include difference in co-parenting style and strained respect and understanding between the two.
2. Family Violence
Domestic abuse starts to be perceived as a significant social problem when it starts to affect family relationships and an increased trend in its occurrence rate.
According to CNN, 35% of women globally are victims of domestic violence while in the U.S. alone three or more women suffer violence on a daily basis.
Individual-level factors that encourage someone to be violent to their partner are personality traits, psychological and hormonal influences that can make them too aggressive.
Societal level explanations for domestic violence perceive race and religion to play significant roles as there are societal acceptance in given communities for domestic violence.
Messner’s critique of the argument that both women and men are likely to commit domestic violence is that men are more likely to commit the violence thus the need to change them.
According to Johnson, the two types of family violence are intimate terrorism where the partner is both violent and controlling and there is the mutual violent where both are violent and strive to be controlling.
3. Parenting
In the Victorian era, motherhood was considered as the ultimate role a woman can play in her life thus was considered a role of emotional and spiritual nourishment for them to bear children.
According to Hays, cultural contradictions of motherhood are the differing views of how mothers consider heir motherly roles to those that the society expects of them especially for the working class women.
In simple terms, intensive mothering is a commitment a woman makes to child rearing as her utmost responsibility.
The challenges facing stay at home mothers are the feeling of inadequacy as far as their careers and economic capabilities are concerned. On the other hand, working mothers face the problem of feeling inadequate in nurturing and caring for their children and families as the society expects this of them.
According to Warner, the problems faced by middle and upper-middle-class mothers are striking a work-life balance as well as looking good as per the expectations of the society. This she refers to as “perfect madness” which is caused by social image pressures, and self and societal expectations (Shulevitz).
For fathers, the Victorian era meant working hard and providing for your family. The perception of children was that they were very important to the family structure and that is why the Victorian era was dominated by a lot of children in the society.
The main argument of “soft” child-raising experts is to allow for some form of flexibility and to allow the child to explore various options. “Hard” child-raising experts argue for firmness and strictness in upbringing a child for better discipline and morals.
Dr. Spock’s general advice to parents in the 1940s and 1950s was to have a gentle approach in child rearing and to use common sense and instincts (Hidalgo).
Divorce
The issue of divorce is not a new one in modern society. As a matter of fact, divorce rates have significantly declined over the years but this was never the case since 1960. Strow and Strow explain that since 1960 and the 70s, divorce increased based on several reasons with female empowerment being one of the common explanation. At the time, feminist groups were starting to fight for women’s right and this must have been seen a threat to what the society viewed as the role of both men and women. As such, women become educated and begun working for economic empowerment through the industrialization period to earn a say in their roles. Thus, feminism, industrialization and differences between couples, increased divorce rate from the 1960s.
From a pessimistic point of view, the negative consequences reflected on how it impacted on family settings and lead to emotional and psychological parents. Some divorced couples even prefer not to remarry or have serious relationships based on their experience with divorce. As for children, they are most likely to be affected psychologically and show socially negative behaviors. Their academic performance can also be affected when parents choose to divorce.
In order to minimize the above and more, Coontz suggests that divorcing couples should be more accommodating, choose to have mediation and reduce incidences of hostility as much as possible especially where children are involved. From a personal perspective, I would say the most important thing to do to lessen the negative consequences of divorce is for the couple to have a “no-fault style” divorce. This will decrease incidences of blaming each other while increasing the chances of understanding why the two can no longer remain married and still be happily committed to each other. Lastly, given the Max and Kate’s marriage as explained by Thernstrom, it is most likely that it could have been preserved. This is because their differences were solvable if only they would openly communicate to each other.
Works Cited
Banschick, Mark. “The High Failure Rate of Second and Third Marriages.” Psychology Today, 6 Feb 2012. Web 17 May 2018 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201202/the-high-failure-rate-second-and-third-marriages
Coontz, Stephanie. “Divorce, No-Fault Style.” The New York Times, 16 Jun 2010. Web, 17 May 2018. https://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/17/opinion/17coontz.html
CNN. “Domestic (Intimate Partner) Violence Fast Facts.” CNN, 30 May 2017. Web, 17 May 2018 https://edition.cnn.com/2013/12/06/us/domestic-intimate-partner-violence-fast-facts/index.html
Hidalgo, Louise. “Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care at 65.” BBC, 23 Aug 2011. Web, 17 May 2018 http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-14534094
Strow, Claudia, and Brian Strow. “A History of divorce and remarriage in the United States.” Humanomics 22:4 (2006). https://www.emeraldinsight.com/doi/abs/10.1108/08288660610710755?mobileUi=0&journalCode=h
Shulevitz, Judith. Perfect Madness: The Mommy Trap. New York Times, 20 Feb 2005. Web, 17 May 2018 https://www.nytimes.com/2005/02/20/books/review/perfect-madness-the-mommy-trap.html
Thernstrom, Melanie. “Untying the Knot.” New York Times Magazine, 24 Aug 2018. Web. 17 May 2018 https://www.nytimes.com/2003/08/24/magazine/untying-the-knot.html
