When is this ever going to end? The competition between the minion race from the east and the dragons from the west was incongruous. The thought kept ringing in my head as the alarm unexpectedly sounded, telling me that it was time for work. I kept telling myself why my family didn’t want me to have a relationship with the other people of the minion race. My heart was unable to stop yearning for her. At the moment, I knew that our love was prohibited, however, I loved Mary, and nothing could have stopped me from marrying her, not even the severity of the repercussions. I heard a gentle knock on the back door of my office, and I felt joy expecting it was Maria coming to our usual secret meeting place. The office was the safest place we could meet without any fear of the consequences of being seen together at home during the day.
“Open the door, there has been an attack by the minion liberation uprising in one of the apartments occupied by…’ a voice of a man shouted from outside, signaling urgency. I froze on my footsteps as my excitement was cut short. I had been in this position many times where I had to choose between sides of my kin since there was no any other alternative. Quickly I grabbed my gun and the call radio and rushed through the front door to the scene. The scene was a mess, bodies lying everywhere, and the dragons chanting war songs. I got lost in the moment, caught in between love, race, and peace triangle.
Before the rebellion of the minions, we had existed in harmony, and our children from the dragon race easily mingled with them. But the problems started by a claim that the dragons were using the knowledge and technological ideologies of the minions to exercise superiority. The minions complained of continued discrimination based on their color. Gradually, their children were not allowed to associate with us the dragons. The conflict led to attacks on each side resulting in the conquest of the minions and placing of the land under the control of the dragon’s government. The liberation movement of the minions wanted to kill all the dragons so that they could regain their land back. By the time I was being born and brought up in the land of minions, I was caught up in the mess whose ideologies I did not support. However, out of fear, I could not express myself since it could not only result in my death but also the girl I loved most in my life. I had to something but, not in my position as the chief of police of Yong, the capital city of the minion land.
That night I could not sleep. “Maria…Maria…” I called out in silence while hiding below her bedroom window. “Davis,” Maria exclaimed in a low tone as she opened the window slowly, careful not to let out any sound or squeak. Maria climbed carefully out of the window. I helped her get down and walked stealthily to an old abandoned building nearby. We had done this for a long time until it had become a routine. She could not control her tears as we held in each other’s arms. Somehow it felt like a good bye moment. With all the violence, I wondered if the relationship could see another day. The rebellion was becoming stronger and stronger each day while the dragon was becoming weak. “My love, is it really going to stop?” I ask her in a whispering voice, “We should break up, find a way to end this violence, and fight for equality. It is the only way we can finally be together.” “No Davis, do not dare leave me now after all we have…” “I am not leaving you. I only want you to be safe since fighting for peace to end the discrimination might cost my life and I do not want to hurt you,” I interrupted. “No…” She lamented between in sobs. Suddenly she drew herself away from my arms and my move to calm her down could not bear fruits. The moment seemed like my efforts and words were wading away with the water as she seemed lost in distant thoughts. Then like a struggle to let out the words, there came the bombshell. I never saw this coming. “Davis, I am three months pregnant.” I stood in shock not knowing how to react. Could this be the start of a new binding life that could end the rivalry between the two races or the gate to us getting killed?
Commentary Based on Noughts and Crosses
I chose the book of Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman especially extracts in chapter three and four to guide my creative short story. The essay borrows some concepts and structure from Blackman’s style of writing to appeal to the particular audience. Also, it is to increase the convenience of understanding and make it easy for the readers to read through using direct language. However, some features are different to bring out the creativity and leave the audience yearning for more as they try to discern what happened next, such as the suspense at the end of the narrative.
In chapter three and four, Blackman (44-50) discusses a relationship between Sephy (a cross) and her love Callum (a nought) to bring out a theme of a forbidden love story based on the hostility and discrimination between the two races that the author creates. The story directly uses the words of the characters rather than a third person telling the narrative. Some of the themes involve the rebellion through the liberation party which resorts to violence to claim equal treatment. Also, the love between these two main characters is addressed through the vivid description of the implications of their affair given the standoff between the treatments of the races where the dark skinned Crosses seem superior (Blackman 46). My narrative also brings out most of this aspect through also using two characters. Davis, who is the chief of police in the land of minions, belongs to the dragon’s race. The individual falls in love with a girl from the minion community as a way to resolve the racial discrimination between the two communities. Davis does not support violence or the stand of his kin. However, the individual fears for the life of Marie and his own if he expresses this concern. The story leaves the reader in suspense at the point where Davis wants to pursue this course while away from the love affair to avoid hurting her, only to realize that she is expecting his child. The point of choosing royalties is similar to the instance between Sephy and Callum in the Noughts and Crosses where they want to defend and fight for equality as a way to protect their love. However, the differences between their races are too divergent which is evident through the use of the word blankers in the incident at the school (Blackman 47).
One of the areas that I borrow from Blackman’s narrative style of writing is grammar such as the person telling the story and the tense (Blackman 44-50). The story is being told by Sephy who is an active character hence the need for the first and second person when quoting the words of the other side of the conversation. In my story, I use the same though the persona is a male figure recounting the story in the first person. The significance of telling a story by an individual who is a character in the narrative enhances the reader to get involved in the situation directly. Also, it makes the story more believable than one told by a narrator who is an observer.
Another element is the lexical structures of the sentences where some can begin even in the middle such as starting with the word ‘but.’ The reason to use this method is to increase the realistic nature of a conversation between two people in a story. Though in grammar it might be wrong to start with such a word, writing in a conversational tone can change some of the rules since the exact words can be reflected in speech, hence, making a reader interact with the reading. Some rhetorical question in the text engages the mind of the audience to imagine what they could have done in the situation, hence, increasing concentration and following of the story.
Another area where I borrowed from is the phonological aspects employed by Blackman (44-50) especially when writing the conversations between Sephy and Callum. The sounds and stress of syllables in a word which is evident through the placing of exclamation marks, ellipsis, question marks, and periods, which can elicit various emotional responses to different situations. Therefore, the style is intriguing because by utilizing the same, I was able to tell the narrative that can trigger certain emotional responses from the audience which increases readership engagement in a story without boredom. For example, the style is effective in drawing the suspense at the end of my story which can leave the reader yearning for more.
Lastly, I utilized the same themes that entail love, rebellions, and racial discrimination (Blackman 46). However, I chose to give it the different scope of the same in another context which resonates with the current world views and differences between ideologies of the east and west. Many of the developing states depend on these countries to learn some of the ideologies as either communism or democracy, to achieve political and economic stability. On the other hand, the extreme ends advance for their interests in these states which might force the developing nations to choose sides or act independently by picking which is best that can guide their point of view and perceptions of a united front. The combination of the two ideologies (Maria’s pregnancy) can end a standoff between the minions and dragons. Therefore, the symbolism part gives the story a new dimension which can relate to the real word problems today and how the young nations can help use their sovereignty to find solutions as well as change the ideologies towards globalization.
Blackman, Malorie. Noughts & Crosses. London: Corgi, 2012. Print.