How did I feel when I was working for my last employer? How did I manage to appear to be working too quickly after realizing that my former boss was watching?

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Addressing the general question of laziness remains a contentious issue, with numerous individuals testifying their attempts to tackle sluggishness. Numerous explanations seem to indicate the origins of laziness, and my experience here is a perception of it. For example, being unable to work enough overtime at no extra expense may be interpreted as a sign of laziness. Various academics have expressed skeptical views on laziness, with clear claims that an individual cannot learn to be lazy, but may develop it intrinsically or rather lack it. Besides, an interview with the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) that featured Canadian scholar, Dr. Max Donelan, illustrated that sluggishness is a biological component. Therefore, as far as laziness is concerned, I perceive the above explanation as judgmental referring to an individual as sluggish, since it appears personally as an oversimplification of noticing a person’s obvious disinterest or potential.
Well, contrary to Donelan and renowned scholars, my experience indicated that the idea of people getting inherently sluggish is entirely a myth, and my apologies are in order. In remembrance, my first job as a recent high school graduate was in a sushi bar that was located in a family mall, and I worked there for four years. In several ways, the work was increasingly unpleasant, and yet my employer did not abandon his biases notwithstanding the fact that I put in great effort during my early days of work. In fact, my employer made accusations of my overwhelming incompetence about all aspects of my work, as well as abusive words utterances and insulting statements.
Therefore, in reflecting on laziness and its numerous effects, I explored the factors that were undermining or surprisingly, diminishing my motivation needed to undertake upon and follow through on, the different challenges and difficulties I faced at work. I encouraged myself to be persistent and unyielding to the unfortunate encounters at work. At the least, so far I have tried to come to terms with the reality as for whether it was worthwhile to endure utter intimidation for four years in that job. I should have opted to quit, but I guess my ingenuousness must have held me longer in spite of my tender age that was optimum for college studies. Admittedly, I should have pursued studies and worked towards achieving my dream job and family. Indeed, I cannot hide grieve that befell my four years of work. For example, on various occasions, I reflected on what could have been my greatest weakness and also, what occurred to me that I decided to undertake that job. In all odds, I could reverse nature and get back in time at my work to transform the history of my life.
In essence, as I express a clarification on the numerous causes that I found myself most times unable to complete or start certain tasks. Considerably, I was depressed because of the burden of carrying the impolite and unsympathetic elements of my employer, and so I got vulnerable to sluggishness and inactivity following the tiring activities. Evidently, the sight of my former employer would trigger uncomfortable feelings that I would not prefer to experience again. I suffered extreme laziness and apathy in last year during Thanksgiving, and I experienced a total transformation of getting overwhelmed with sluggishness. It was the time I made efforts towards my resignation.
I had reached a point that I had perceived the fact that physical or rational demands were getting exceeded by my previous employer and that knowledge failing to adapt with my former boss’ complaints created a stressful and unpalatable environment for adequate performance. Furthermore, upon this understanding, I was overly concerned that thus, considerably, got associated with an negative emotional reaction. For example, I had invented various facial expressions in response to individual incidences. I would get cheerful on many occasions in the absence of my previous boss, however, during his presentation, I would instantly forge an exceptional and ambitious facial articulation, for him to assume that I got keenly focused on the work. Nonetheless, I felt expeditiously demoralized in so doing because it was unworthy and indolent.
Also, I had cultivated several body movements and twitching that would complete my concealed expression directed to my former employer. Apparently, there was a great need for emotional reinforcement; the inadequacy of emotional support had unhappy outcomes in the job. Rather quite enjoyable moments occurred with my fellow workers, and obviously at the absence of my previous boss. Often we would chat and share jokes, and almost instantaneous abandon our sweet moments when our boss walked in. At that moment I would pretend to clean utensils and also, wipe surfaces. It was the mere pretense that I got keenly focused on the work and interested.
Indeed, the absence of encouragement from within made it a total disaster to motivate me. The nature of the work caused me to avoid it entirely, and therefore, since it was important to accomplish the work, I would probably act out due to my displeasure by hesitating or rather undertaking the work halfheartedly and end up doing shoddy work. I recall another unpleasant situation was getting stuff from the refrigerator that got always located on the other side of the store. I would walk slowly towards it on account that I was so uninterested, and secondly, I was communicating with my friends via text messaging.
Moreover, I recall working in the kitchen was probably the most encouraging thing because, once or twice I would sneak out for a brief smoking session. Although it was not guaranteed, I used to maximize the small window of opportunity that was available. Nevertheless, it was more or less a significant risk to allocate yourself some free time and the fact that my employer did patrols even in the kitchen, I was inevitably cautious. On the rare moments that I got caught, I would be then very persuasive and get every reason to convince my former employer otherwise.
I learned that I suffered unresolved personal doubt about the job and this attitude cannot be erased by a convenient task and gets reinforced (generally, through some instance of stalling) the next moment I am required to undertake some work. I have learned that the absence of discipline as well as strong self-worth could not only result in a reduced level of motivation but also, result to cumulating levels of weariness.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I finally resigned from my post right before Thanksgiving Day. I recall that during my last day, I had gathered enough courage to finally relay my grievances to my former boss that I was in no position to continue with the job because I was to join studies and become a full-time student. Well, the response from my boss was quite understanding, but I believe that it was due to my dad’s intervention. Otherwise, I would have taken my father’s role and shout at my boss. I felt very comfortable and cheerful about the decision to leave the job and join a school. Indeed, I hold no regretful emotions in regards to the job despite the weird dreams that frequented my sleep. The moments remain an unforgettable experience.

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