The opening sentence
The opening sentence used by the author does not induce vigor of reading the article. Words arrangement in the sentence is not right, it should have read, ‘Herbert A. Gilbert filed the first electronic cigarette for a patent in 1963.’ The writer assumes that the reader knows what an E-Liquid is and offers no explanation or definition of the main topic. The paper also lacks an elaborate thesis statement.
Body Paragraphs (30/50)
The materials section of the paper is well done however there was need of quantifying all the requirements. Being an experiment, the activities should fall in a certain specific order. For instance, the author takes the readers through the procedure only to reflect on the following paragraph the importance of double-checking before stating the experiment. There is a need to double check before the commencement of the experiment. The use of subheadings such as procedure, findings and discussions, and numbering would be more necessary in such a case to enhance easy follow up of the process. The paper lack proper chronology expected in an experiment.
Conclusion (10/25)
Being an experiment, the final result should be stated. The phrases used such as, ‘If you were patient enough to wait…’ should not be in an experiment. There should be a defined period in which it should run hence should not be based on the patience of an individual since patience varies from one individual to another. As a conclusion to the experiment, the author should have concluded the hypothesis which was being tested from the discussion of the findings. Besides, the conclusion should also include recommendations and resources for more research if a reader is interested.
