1. What is the essay’s thesis statement? Is it clear and limited to fit the assigned length of the paper? How could it be improved?
The essay's thesis statement is centered on The Prevailing Hindrances in College Assignments. Though the thesis is clear and limited to fit the assigned length of the paper, it is somehow vague and would be better if it were reworded to ‘the hindrances in completing college assignments.
2. What are the main points the author is giving in support of his/her thesis? Are the points strong and persuasive? What is the author’s strongest point? Weakest point? How could the author’s main points to be improved?
The author has focused on three main points, which discuss the hindrances, in completing the college assignments. The author has made a strong point in ensuring that the three hindrances are discussed in detail and in a significant way, however, a weak point arises in the author’s sentence structure that fails to make any sense. For instance, "this outcome was that eighty percent of those students had gave an account of shifting…"
3. Evaluate the essay’s structure. Does the essay have an effective hook, thesis, and roadmap? Do paragraphs have strong topic sentences and smooth transitions? Does the conclusion sum up and take the “next step”? Are any of these structural elements (hook, thesis, roadmap, topic sentences, transitions, conclusion) missing? If so, which ones? Do any of these elements need improvement? How might the author improve them?
The essay has an effective hook, thesis, and a roadmap. Moreover, the essay has a strong topic sentence and smooth transition. The only problem is that the paragraphs, which contain the three distinctive points as well the conclusion paragraph, are not labeled. It would be best if the author labeled the paragraphs so that the audience can easily trace the points.
4. How is the essay organized? Is there any repetition or confusion? If so, where? How could the organization be improved?
The essay is well organized with no repetition and confusion, the problem is in the sentence structure.
5. Does the essay present enough supporting evidence to make each of its points convincing? Where could additional examples, information, testimony, or other kinds of supporting material be added to make the categories even more effective?
The essay has managed to provide enough supporting evidence on the three points, to an extent of quoting previous research. In my view concerning evidence, the essay has met the criterion
6. Has the author used outside sources effectively and responsibly, avoiding plagiarism? Do the author’s body paragraphs demonstrate a 2:1 ratio of author’s writing/ideas to sources’ writing/ideas?
The author of the essay has used outside sources effectively ensuring that plagiarism is minimized, the only areas where plagiarism appears is when the author is introducing the author of the outside source.
a) Are there any paragraphs where the author might need to add more information from research? Where? Are some paragraphs too research-heavy? Which ones? What unnecessary information might the author cut?.
According to how I have understood the essay, the author has balanced the research in the essay, there is no need for more information, neither is the essay too research-heavy
b) Are there any problems with the author’s APA citation (both in-text citation and reference list)? If so, what are the problems, and how could the author improve?
There is indeed a big problem with author’s APA citation as well as the references. First, the author has included the paragraph number in the in-text, which is not a requirement. On the references, the publication date and month have been placed after the year instead of including it at the end of the end of the website name and before the URL. Moreover, the references are not in APA format.
7. Who is the audience for this essay? Will all the supporting evidence be clear to the essay’s particular audience? Do any terms or examples need additional explanation or special definition?
The essay is clear on who the intended audience is, as it focusses on college students. Therefore, there is no need for additional explanation, although the heading needs to be reworded to ensure one is able to tell who is the intended audience just by looking at the heading.
8. Are there any grammatical errors you see the author making repeatedly? What are they, and how should the author fix them?
There are a couple of grammatical mistakes, which need to be revised. The mistakes can be avoided through proofreading or giving a peer to review the essay.
