Coping with an Unexpected Miscarriage
Coping with an unexpected miscarriage is one among the hardest thing among women. The situation is so difficult especially because the woman has just come from a moment of rejoicing by the fact that they were expecting a baby and now the baby will be no more. Despite the fact that the woman had not seen the baby, the fact is that she knew the baby was coming. Pregnant mothers keep imagining their moments after the baby finally arrives and hence coming to terms with the fact that the baby will never come anymore is so saddening and difficult to cope with. In most cases, the woman is affected by a variety of emotions. She may feel sad due to the sudden loss, feel disheartened, angry and aggrieved that this had to happen to her (Lindemann, 82). Most of them are forced to stay away from their friends especially friends who are pregnant or those who just had a baby. Their appetite and also the capacity to sleep is greatly affected and this is likely to last until they can cope with the situation. Having a miscarriage is one among the most painful things that women experience while pregnant, especially considering the emotional and health effects that are associated with it.
A Miscarriage and its Signs
A miscarriage is a situation whereby the embryo gets out of the uterus at a time when it cannot survive outside on its own. There are a number of signs that are related to miscarriages such as bleeding heavily, backache and abdominal pains. The period of time that these particular symptoms last is usually determined by how old the pregnancy was. It is important that any pregnant woman who experiences any one of these symptoms should visit the doctor in order to prevent possible miscarriages (Scales, 43). Pregnant women who visit the antenatal clinic are advised on some of these particular symptoms and ways of preventing possible miscarriages. However, in some instances, the miscarriage may still occur no matter the precautions taken. In this situation, the woman feels so dark about what just happened and any time they think about what to do next, the situation only worsens. In this case, the family members are advised to comfort and support the lady so that the situation does not get any worse.
Treatment and Recovery
If a woman suspects a miscarriage, it is important that they visit a doctor immediately. If the doctor confirms that it has really happened, they will go further to empty the uterus so that normal menstruation can resume and if the woman so wishes, she can get pregnant again. In situations where there are complications and hence the medical practitioner cannot easily get the embryo out of the uterus, he or she may be forced to employ other techniques that will facilitate the process. These may include using special medications or rather conducting surgery (Wahabi, Hayfaa, et al, 53). One of the adverse effects resulting from a miscarriage is the fact that it takes quite some time to recover from the entire process. The woman may take a long period of time before she resumes her normal activity. For instance, if the woman goes through a surgical procedure, the doctor will have to direct her regarding how long she will take before she can resume normal activity. The woman is advised to be very careful in order to prevent possible infections.
Complications and Emotional Effects
Besides having to take a longer time before getting back to normal activities, there are a number of complications that are associated with miscarriages. In most cases, the medical practitioner will have to frequently check on the patient to ensure there are no developing complications. Some of these complications include bleeding. Some women bleed for weeks after having a miscarriage and this can be rather dangerous if not treated on time (Lindemann, 86). In most cases, continuous bleeding usually indicates that there is some placenta remaining in the uterus or rather the woman has developed a complication. Besides this, an infection could be indicated by fever, pain in the abdomen or producing a foul-smelling discharge. Infections are often treated by using an antibiotic. In case the medical practitioner realizes that there is placenta left in the uterus, he has to remove it with an immediate effect to prevent further complications. Conducting surgery is one of the most common methods of removing the placenta.
The Period of Grief
The most common effect resulting from miscarriages is the emotional effect which is commonly referred to as the period of grief. When a miscarriage occurs, most women experience different feelings and reactions. Most of them are unavoidable, but the woman has to deal with them so that she can eventually come to terms with what just happened to her. In most cases when people go through any type of loss and not necessarily a miscarriage, they have to pass through a number of emotional steps before they can overcome the loss. These particular steps are common to most people but they occur at different times (Wonch Hill, Patricia, et al, 228). The first and most common step is the feeling of being in shock and denial. At this particular point, the woman has not yet accepted the fact that they are no longer pregnant. This is the situation whereby one is still in shock over the sudden news. Many questions are in the mind at this particular point and she wonders why this had to happen to her. This particular step is defined as a mental mechanism that is meant to prevent the human mind from trauma due to the saddening news.
Blame, Anger, and Depression
The second step is where one feels guilty and angry over what has just happened. This is the point whereby the woman blames herself for what has just happened to her. She feels that maybe if she had done things differently, then the child would have been spared. In other instances, the woman blames other people for her loss. She might even blame God for letting her go through a miscarriage and allowing her child to die. This is the point where the woman might feel resentful over any other woman who has a child or any woman who is pregnant. At this point, she is full, of anger and hatred. Depression and despair is the third step and this is one of the most dangerous effects of a miscarriage. At this point, the woman is always sad, she cannot eat well, and neither can she sleep well. Besides, most of the time she is crying because of what just happened to her. She is no longer interested in the things that used to interest her before (Tarafdar, 50). At this point, she seems to have given up on herself and besides she wonders if she will ever have her own babies. After all this, coming to terms with the fact that a miscarriage took place and appreciating that fact is the most challenging step. Having it in mind that it is impossible to forget that one was pregnant is the most disturbing situation. However, it is important to learn to appreciate the situation and learn to cope with that sad fact.
Support and Moving On
Feeling aggrieved after going through a miscarriage is a normal feeling. Whether the miscarriage occurs when the pregnancy is still young or when the pregnancy is almost due, the sad feeling is almost similar. The family members and friends definitely have a role to play. They should encourage the aggrieved mother and make her feel that it is always possible to try again. Having supportive family members and friends will help her cope with the situation better. This, however, does not mean stopping the woman from grieving. She should be given the chance to grief until she is over the sad feeling and is ready to move on. If she is religious, it is important to seek religious guidance concerning the matter. So many women go through miscarriages at least once in their lifetime but most of the time they prefer not to talk about it. Some of them are ashamed of it since society does not appreciate it. Women who have gone through a miscarriage should be supported and encouraged rather than being condemned for it. With time, she will get over it, and chances are she will desire to have another child and definitely she will have one or many as she wishes. Once she gets her normal menstrual cycle back, she should be ready to get pregnant again and follow advice from the doctor to prevent any possible miscarriage.
Work cited
Lindemann, Hilde. "Miscarriage and the stories we live by." Journal of Social Philosophy 46.1 (2015): 80-90.
Scales, Barbara. "A Tool for Family and Friends Supporting Women Who Have Lost a Baby During Pregnancy." International Journal of Childbirth Education 33.3 (2018).
Tarafdar, Tania. “Light at the End of the Tunnel.” Mother " Baby (0974-6676), vol. 11, no. 7, Nov. 2018, p. 50.
Wahabi, Hayfaa A., et al. "Progestogen for treating threatened miscarriage." Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 8 (2018).
Wonch Hill, Patricia, et al. "The loss of self: The effect of miscarriage, stillbirth, and child death on maternal self-esteem." Death studies 41.4 (2017): 226-235.
