The introductory paragraph was done well. There is an engaging hook that engages the readers and makes them interested in the world losing its language. The author uses a general statement at the beginning and some interesting statistics to get the audience interested in the rest of the article.
The paper has an identifiable thesis that allows readers to know what the essay is about. Based on the thesis in the introduction, the paper is about the argument made by Nicholas Ostler concerning why the languages of the world are at risk of being extinct. According to the authors understanding of Oster’s argument, the impending extinction is not the direct consequence of globalization.
The author uses identifiable topic sentences in most of the paragraph. For instance, in the second paragraph, the sentence at the beginning of the paragraph easily allows the reader to know that the paragraph is about how the author slowly introduces the main idea of his argument. However, in the paragraphs five and six in the third page, the author fails to offer effective topic sentences. In the fifth paragraph, it is not clear what the paragraph was about. The writer should have offered a statement that summarizes the main idea of the paragraph.
The author fails to offer strong concluding sentences in all paragraphs. It would have been better if the author summarized their argument in the conclusions and tied the arguments to the thesis statement.
Even though the author makes good attempts to explain the points, he fails in all sentences. Paragraphs such as the four, five and six in the third page have two sentences and therefore fail to be fully developed. The author should have explained the pints in the paragraphs rather than just offer quotes and other forms of evidence.
The pieces of evidence that the author uses are effective. The author uses appropriate evidence even though in some cases he fails to expound on them.
The author uses appropriate transitions to introduce paragraphs. However, he fails to follow a logical order in adding the sixth paragraph after he talks about the last paragraph of the article by Oster in the fifth paragraph.
The conclusion is not though provocative. It seems to go out of topic when the author introduces the failure of the author to talked about his personal life rather than reframe the thesis and the arguments in the article.
There are some grammatical errors. The author fails to use the article “the” in paragraph number seven in the last sentence. The sentence also lacks clarity as it is too long.
Even though the author offers a very catchy introduction, he fails to explain his evidence. Therefore, he offers strong pieces of evidence but fails to link them to his argument effectively.
