The Debate on Children Obeying Their Parents
The position that children should always obey their parents is highly debatable because of the many factors that determine the success of their relationship. To guarantee the success of obeying the societal norms and national laws, children have been socialized in a manner that appreciates and obey the parents as authority figures. However, I believe that although children should obey their parents, the condition is not a must. Most religions in the world teach the value of giving unconditional obedience to the parents, but the truth is that children should question, actively listen and make up their mind whether they should obey or not. Adopting this stand will likely trigger an uproar because of the attempts to change the long tradition, but it is the best objective perspective that befits the modern society.
Listening to Parents as Role Models
Children have been advised to listen to their parents because they get wisdom and avoid being in trouble in later life. However, the truth is that the parents, just like other figures of authority should work hard to earn their children’s respect and trust. It is necessary for parents to ensure that they act as good role models and working to ensure that the needs of their children are met. Accomplishing these goals automatically makes them responsible symbols of authority that deserve to be obeyed. Although they are not infallible, parents should always ensure that their weaknesses do not undermine the respect and the obedience bestowed on them.
Challenges with Unconditional Obedience
Being older is associated with greater wisdom because of the knowledge and the experience acquired in the world (Borland 23-24). Those supporting this stand, therefore, argue that it is necessary to ensure that children unconditionally obey their parents to tap the wisdom that will make them important members of the society. However, this position is flawed because there are parents who cannot teach their children about life skills because of gross misconducts at the presence of the children like fighting, smoking and getting drunk. The wide generation gap may also pose a big challenge because of the differences in the level of understanding. Leaving children to learn on their own therefore becomes a better position although they should not ignore the wisdom of parents.
The Ineffectiveness of Blind Obedience
Although religious books lay an emphasis on obeying older members especially the parents, there are other factors to consider. Just like any other beings, parents make mistakes that might even have their children land in trouble. As a result, it can be argued that obeying and honoring parents is an ineffective position that even Jesus commented about (Yep 12-15). Acting as leaders in the family is therefore not a guarantee that there is perfection. The society, therefore, needs to take a multifaceted approach on the controversial topic of obeying parents because there are many aspects that parents ignore hence unable to walk their talk. The society needs to constantly evaluate some of the assumptions that have been taken as guiding principle in instilling order and the respect for authority. The new rule should be that obedience in bi-directional and that children should not always obey their parents unless they play an active role in the development process and ensure they act as good examples guided by theories like social learning.
Works Cited
Borland, Moira. Middle childhood: the perspectives of children and parents. Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 1998.
Yep, Jeanette, et al., eds. Following Jesus without dishonoring your parents. InterVarsity Press, 2009.
