The Five Languages of Love
The primary objective of Five Languages of Love is to assist individuals to demonstrate love to their partners in ways that will be received. The book is based on the assumption that just as there are different spoken languages all over the world, different types of love languages also exist (Chapman, 2015). Therefore, it means that if spouses speak different kinds of love languages, there is a high probability that their love messages will not be heard and reciprocated by each other. In this case, Chapman discloses that there are five ways of loving each other or five love languages, which can be used by couples to communicate love to one another. However, Chapman indicates that different people have different types of love languages and that each needs to discover the things that make him or her beloved (Chapman, 2015).
Summary of the Book
The author indicates that the five love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts and physical touch (Chapman " Green, 2017).
Words of Affirmation
Some individuals feel most loved only if they can receive words of affirmation from their partners or loved ones (Chapman, 2015). In this regard, words such as "I love you," or getting complimented, praised,supported, appreciated or encouraged, are particularly useful for such individuals. Fundamentally, getting affirming words from a loved one is more likely to make some individuals feel loved, only if affirmations are their primary love language (Chapman, 2015).
Quality Time
For some persons, the words of affirmation are never really sufficient in making them feel loved. Often, such individuals will complain that their partners never accord them a quality time or that they don't spend enough time on them (Chapman, 2015). In this regard, quality time may be the love language of such individuals towards an individual listening to them,sharing experiences with them, doing things with them or merely those who look into their eyes, especially, when communicating. This means that their other partner needs to be fully present with their loved ones, especially when spending time with them and ignore all other activities during such moments.
Receiving Gifts
Receiving gifts can be considered to be the primary love language for some people. In this context, such individuals tend to feel most loved only when someone buys them gifts, irrespective of whether such grants are big or small (Chapman, 2015). Typically, such individuals often feel that their partners have demonstrated their feelings of love and as such, they are compelled to appreciate any gift that is given to them. Therefore, any gesture of gift tends to make such individuals feel loved such as cards, chocolates, flowers or notes.
Acts of Service
Some individuals emphasize that their significant others need to demonstrate or show them that they love them (Chapman, 2015). In this case, such individuals feel that being told that they are loved is an insufficient way of showing love to someone. Such kinds of individuals often require or need acts of service. Acts of service are usually achieved after partners go out of their way to do things for their loved ones (Chapman, 2015). Therefore, an individual having acts of service being his or her primary love language will tend to feel most loved after someone does things for them such as doing laundry, doing dishes or helps out with tasks or projects.
Physical Touch
Physical touch is considered to be the primary love language if an individual requires or needs physical affection to feel loved (Chapman, 2015). In this respect, physical touch may be being kissed, holding hands, brief brushes, hugging or having sex.
Critiquing the Five Languages of Love
To begin with, Chapman has failed to discuss the compatibility that exists between partners (Notes, 2017). According to the Five Languages of Love, marriage is something that requires or needs to be saved regardless. In reality, most marriages or relationships fail to work out due to incompatibility or self-realization; however, there is a harsh judgment from Chapman if such relationships fail to work or if partners fail to make efforts of saving their failing relationships (Notes, 2017). Nevertheless, Chapman may be right when he suggested that today, most individuals often prefer to move to their next relationship after their previous one fails. In this context, some people will prefer to work on their current relationship instead of moving to the next one.
Most Important Aspect of the Book
Five Languages of Love differentiates between the experience of being in love and having real feelings of love. In this case, being in love is mostly characterized by the ecstasy or feelings that offer one a false sense of intimacy while real love is associated with being intentional and having the choice of committing or doing something for the benefit of one's partner (Notes, 2017). Therefore, for real love to reveal itself and grow, Chapman indicates stresses that an individual should be able to act or communicate within the realms of his or her partner's primary language of love.
References
Chapman, G. D. (2015). The five love languages. Chicago. Moody Publishers
Chapman, G., " Green, J. (2017). The 5 Love Languages Military Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts. Chicago: Moody Publishers.
Notes, S. P. (2017). Summary, Analysis, and Review of Gary Chapman's The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. Lanham: Start Publishing Notes.
