This research was carried out due to research work that examined the issue of domestic violence in terms of qualitative and quantitative teachings. A literature review was conducted to determine the psychotype of the victims of their partners’, why they tolerate tyrants and what motivates them when choosing such ones as boyfriends and husbands. I express my gratitude to all those who took part in the research, since everything was very clear and detailed in the research work. Due to those papers, it was possible to understand this problem and draw the right conclusions.
Abstract
Domestic violence is a horrible phenomenon, in which one of the partners uses physical, reproductive, or financial violence over another for oppression and domination. Despite feminization and the existence of gender equality in developed countries, news of the beating of a long few years still appear. There is a suggestion that there is a certain psychological portrait of the “victim” of violence is a quiet and calm person, not inclined to active activity, most often agreeing with others. Such a person is easy to manipulate, and he or she is very accommodating. Nevertheless, mostly women suffer from domestic violence. This paper intends to consider research on this topic, their discussion and evaluation. The very concept of such violence will be considered, as well as the causes of this phenomenon that have been identified by researchers, and the difference in this concept in developed Western countries, as well as in Eastern Muslim ones.
Keywords: aggressor, domestic violence, experience, psychotype.
Domestic Violence
Domestic violence implies deliberate acts of a physical, psychological, sexual nature of a family member against another member of the family, violating his or her rights, freedoms, legitimate interests and causing physical or mental suffering. It is important to distinguish that violence has different manifestations. There are several types of domestic violence: physical, sexual, psychological and economic ones. Physical violence is a direct or indirect impact on the victim, with the aim of causing physical harm, which is expressed in the beating, mutilation and so forth. Sexual violence is a violent act, when one is forced, threatened or deceived against his or her will in any form of sexual relations. Psychological violence implies damage to the mental health of the person, manifested in intimidation, threats, control and so forth. Economic violence is a material pressure that can manifest itself in a ban on studying, working, depriving of financial support, full control over income.
Aggressors always choose who to use violence against. They do not offend, threaten or attack anyone who develops them. As a rule, they use violence against people close to them, those whom they claim they love. Aggressors carefully choose when and where to use violence. They control themselves, while there are people around who can see their violent behavior. They can behave as if nothing had happened in public places, but they use violence as soon as they remain alone with their victim. Aggressors can stop their violent behavior when they see that it can bring them benefits. Most aggressors are able to stop violent behavior when this can affect their interests.
Aggressors often use violence in such a way that there are no visible traces. Instead of acting in a fit of rage, many aggressors who use physical violence carefully direct their kicks and punches to places where bruises will not be visible. Domestic violence has its own laws, principles and dynamics of development. The situation of domestic violence develops cyclically and consists of several phases. The first one is voltage. This phase is characterized by separate outbursts of insults, which can be verbal or emotional. These outbreaks differ slightly in intensity from the usual and expected from the partner. The reaction of a woman at the same time can be calm or protective. Both partners at this moment can try to justify the behavior of the offender, seeking an explanation for his frustrations in stress due to work, money and so forth. The duration of this phase for different relationships can vary from several days to several months. However, with increasing tension, the woman’s ability to regulate the situation is losing its effectiveness.
After that, the phase of admitting the fact of violence occurs. This one is characterized by intense discharge, destructive actions and extreme emotional splashes in their most negative form. Fits of anger are so strong that the offender can no longer deny their existence, and a woman cannot help but admit that they have a strong influence on her. In such a situation, a woman can even try to speed up the act of violence to relieve the ever-increasing tension, since it is no longer able to withstand it. Nonetheless, the acute moment of violence in the form of an aggressive act is usually carried out only because the man himself chooses a violent way to find out the relationship.
The last phase is the shortest one. During this phase, a tyrant person can become calm and loving, as well as refusing what was done. A woman can be blamed, and the tyrant would be promising that situation would not happen again. The victim would believe her offender, so he would want to keep the woman in the relationship. During this period, it is likely that a man can continue to use other types of violence, such as economic control, emotional abuse in order to maintain control even during this phase. For a woman, this phase can reproduce much of what she expected from a relationship with her partner. The man can promise her that he would change, and she believes it, convincing herself that now the relationship will remain forever in this phase. However, it must be remembered that, once happened, the violence is likely to continue with alternating reinforcement. The tension in the family will again increase, and the increasing disruptions will indicate the onset of the already familiar first phase of violence.
Literature Review
After studying the experience of various women who survived domestic violence, one can understand why this happens to them. To study this issue, certain studies have been carried out. For example, De Oliveira et al. (2015) set a goal to understand what mistakes the victims of domestic violence make, which of their actions provoked the attack and how it could be prevented. Philosophers such as Maurice Merleau-Ponty, for example, have developed whole psychological cause-effect relationships, according to which women fall into similar situations. It was confirmed that it is precisely a certain psychotype of women that fall into the category of people who may be beaten and other types of domestic violence. According to the results, the experience gained by such women does not stimulate them to get away from the offender, as they feel guilty. Additionally, they do not want to publicize their problem, because they do not want to have a bad reputation among other people.
In addition to the psychological propensity to be a victim, there is also a predisposition to “search” for aggressive partners. The obvious and common reason that a woman continues to suffer beatings is that she does not have a home where she could return, and work that not only feeds, but also gives the possibility to rent a house. It happens that returning to parents means getting into even worse conditions, or in the parents' house they clearly pronounced: your marriage is your problem, we will not accept it back. That is why the perception of marriage as a union of the seeker of material goods and housewives can lead to extremely unpleasant consequences, the financial dependence of a woman deprives her of the opportunity at any time to terminate relations with a partner, and she finds herself in a situation where violence is not as bad as being on the street without money and housing.
Chhikara et al. (2013) identified the types of domestic violence and pointed out what must be done in case a person is outraged every day, where to turn and who can help. The best way out is when society takes care primarily about prevention, not treatment. In fact, it is necessary to educate children of both genders, so that they never think that violence is allowed in the family, that anger and aggression can be directed at the ones loved, that you can escape punishment for someone’s hand. It is necessary to raise a sense of dignity, to accustom categorically not to tolerate and not tolerate violence either against oneself or against others, to give children love and a cozy house free from aggression, in which one can always return, where he or she would be expected to be supported, not condemned.
Nevertheless, there is a solution for it, and it consists in not being silent and not being ashamed to ask for help. A woman should know that her relatives are always waiting for her, ready to help and listen. If the contacts between them have not broken, the victim can get help to keep in touch with reality, against the belief of the husband that to hit the woman who brought him is quite normal, one’s position should be the reinforced concrete wall; domestic violence is not the norm, in him is he who strikes. However, it always depends on the culture and country in which the victim lives. In Iran, for example, women have virtually no rights, compared to men. Accordingly, they cannot just take and file for divorce, it will take a lot of effort and time. Ostadhashemi et al., (2015) conducted a study to investigate physical violence against women in Iran, its causes and consequences. It was concluded that the main reason for this phenomenon was patriarchy and the almost total lack of rights of women in Muslim countries.
In general, the US invasion of Iraq to liberate the country from Saddam Hussein has plunged women into ad sectarian violence. The level of literacy was the highest among the Arab countries, but now it has dropped to the lowest level, since families are afraid to send girls to school, fearing that they can be abducted and raped. Women who used to work sit at home. More than a million women have been evicted from their homes, and millions are unable to earn their living. Undoubtedly, in this state a woman is not easy both physically and from the point of view of the law to leave her tyrant husband.
Summary
Summing it up, it can be argued that the domestic tyrants always look for and are “attracted” to the submissive and notorious, as well as insecure women. All of them have a victim complex. That i why women beaten in the first marriage are most often married to men potentially ready for violence and realizing this intention at the first opportunity. However, there is another type of women who are prone to violence, like their husbands. They provoke a quarrel, gradually igniting uncontrollable anger. If nature had distributed physical forces otherwise, the outcome of the battle would have been unpredictable. In the clash of two aggressive people, the strongest would have won. In most cases, on the side of men this is an innate advantage. In any case, both are guilty: both husband and wife. A man subconsciously seeks a “victim”, and a woman looks for a “tyrant” who can put her in her place.
First, the victim in his own way refers to the responsibility: everything that happens to her is a confluence of unpleasant circumstances or the fault of others, evil people. As if one’s life is going on without his or her participation and he or she cannot help it. At the level of emotions, the victim has a lot of guilt, fear, childish grudge, helplessness. At the level of behavior, an unconscious choice of a situation where there is a possibility to be attacked. It is too late to go home, go down a dark street, talk to the gypsies at the station.
These are some situations that he does not control. A small child, for example, cannot control the process when he wet diapers or regurgitate. If he or she is scolded for it, it turns out that he is to blame for what happens outside his or her will, is part of his nature. In a more adult age, it can be traumatic situations, such as assault or sexual violence. It can be education with excessive responsibility, when the child is given too many obligations and he cannot cope with them, and then they blame him or her for it.
Conclusion
In such relations, in addition to suffering, there are many pluses for the woman. A woman supposes she is ill, because if she says that it is good for her, when she is beaten, then she will be told that she is crazy. If she leaves her husband, she would be just a loner, a loser, and a victim. Additionally, such women do not know how to treat them well. The feeling of one’s own “badness” is very deep. When a man does something good to her, a sign of attention, then she shows him that it was not worth it. This is a woman who compliments on a compliment. Naturally, initially she would choose a man with a greater inclination to aggression.
References
Chhikara, P., Jakhar, J., Malik, A., Singla, K., Dhattarwal, S. K. (2013). Review Research Paper. Domestic Violence: The Dark Truth of Our Society. J Indian Acad. Forensic Med., v. 35(1).
De Oliveira, P. P., Da Fonseca Viegas, S. M., Dos Santo, W. J., Da Silveira, Edilene Aparecida Araújo, Elias, S. C. (2015). Women Victims of Domestic Violence: A Phenomenological Approach. Text Context Nursing, Florianópolis, v. 24(1), pp. 196-203.
Ostadhashemi, L., Khalvati, M., Seyedsalehi, M., Emamhadi, M.A. (2015). A Study of Domestic Violence against Women: A Qualitative MetaSynthesis. International Journal of Medical Toxicology and Forensic Medicine, v. 5(3), pp 155-63.
Women must speak out if they suffer from domestic violence.
Difficult Terms
Aggression is a, rigid, purposeful attack. This desire and willingness to inflict damage, strike and destroy. It is a kind of action or condition, and aggressiveness is a character trait, a habit and a tendency to react to everything aggressively.
Domination
is a relationship in which an object is controlled by another. To dominate is the one who puts himself or herself above the partner, who can break off the relationship easily. That is, the leader considers himself or herself more important, his or her interests are more important, he or she is more selfish than the second partner. Led partner, on the contrary, protects relations to the detriment of their interests. It is driven by the unconscious mechanism, such as the fear of losing someone close.
Gender equality is an equal assessment by society of the similarities and differences between women and men, the different social roles they play. It implies the possession of women and men of equal status through equal conditions for the realization of human rights and potentials. It also requires a fair treatment of women and men, which requires extraordinary measures to compensate for historical and social failures, disadvantages that prevent women and men from taking equal positions.
Psychotype
is a collection of character traits describing a recognizable type of person from the point of view of psychology. This description of the characteristics of human behavior in terms of difficulties for others or the possibility of influencing it.
Violence
is an unlawful physical or mental impact on another person that encroaches on his physical or mental integrity and can lead to a violation of his or her anatomical integrity, the physiological functions of his or her organs and tissues or causing him physical or mental suffering.
