The comparison of the Quindlen and Gay’s article reveals several problems that arise when prejudice, differences and stereotypes are rampant in society. For instance, demonstrates how the separation of male and females results in a communication barrier which is critical to the young people who are growing up together. On the other hand, Gay explains how heterosexual relations are widely accepted while gays and lesbians have been criticized yet is their right and do not influence other people in any way – their privacy is invaded. The focal point of this comparative essay is to explain the problems that arise when there are differences, prejudice and stereotypes grounded in the Quindlen and Gay’s articles.
Differences
There is a huge difference in the way Gay and Quindlen have addressed differences – Quindlen focuses on the differences that exist between sexes while Gay addresses how sexual differences have made many people invade into the privacy of the LGBT individuals. Anna Quindlen in the article “Between the Sexes, a Great Divide,” explains the existence of an empty space that separates the men and women, girls and boys (Quindlen 599). Quindlen commences with the image of the gulf at the center of the junior high school dance floor – the boys are thronged together on one side of the room and the ladies are rounded up on the other side. At the end of the essay, the author elucidates the way in which women and men have continued to live within differentiated and separate emotional and mental spaces (Aplogosblog n.p.). The idea of separating the two sexes creates a communication barrier which is imperative in comprehending each other and respecting their gender differences
In contrast, Roxanne Gay argues that privacy is an unchallengeable right of every person. Nonetheless, in contemporary society, the rights of famous people are windswept by a generation that is the technologically advanced generation who more than often cross the privacy boundaries out of curiosity. Roxanne Gay in her essay “A Tale of Three Coming Out Stories,” utilizes the idea of a person’s sexual preference to expound how the curious nature of individuals have resulted to a harmful and destructive invasion of the people’s privacy -especially the LGBTQ persons (Bashor n.p.). According to Gay, every time a person’s body epitomizes certain differences – there is some degree of compromise that happens to his or her privacy. A privacy surfeit is merely an extra benefit the privileged class enjoy yet they take it for granted. In the same way, people who are heterosexual take their sexuality privacy for granted. They tend to go for a date, marry and love any person of their choice without disclosing anything about themselves because if they do there are rarely negative ramifications. Thus, revealing the truth that a person is heterosexual or gay has not been warmly welcomed by the public.
Stereotypes
In both articles, there are stereotypes in the way people relate in society. Men and women are equally intelligent, but emotionally not the same. They have small differences which are often being fed to them by society. Quindlen believes that both men and women think they are “the other” (Quindlen 125). This stereotype is developed during childhood. She argues that prejudice is easy to deal with because people can argue to change it. On the other hand, simple differences between men and women cannot be changed and both genders live with these stereotypes. Quindlen shares her experience of gender difference when she puts an amaryllis bulb plant in the bathroom and her elder son asks a funny question; “why did you put an onion in a pot in the bathroom” (Quindlen 126)? Her son asked that question because he does not have much of an idea about flowers. He does not know that amaryllis bulb will grow into a beautiful flower because he has never been learned about flowers during childhood.
Even though Gay notes that the society has significantly improved in biases against homosexuality, she insists that society has not reached the level of forward-thinking all of us are anticipating. She describes our acceptance of homosexuality among the “right kind of gay…not too flamboyant, not too gay” (Gay 80). She then cites Anderson Cooper as an example. These precise descriptions evoke a sense within readers’ that homosexuality can be defined as something physical, something we can judge as right or wrong based on the image. This issue, coupled with mentioned statistics of high rates of LGBT harassment and suicide and federal legislation passed to discriminate against gays (Bashor n.p.) is an example of what happens when society is not familiarized with homosexuality. If someone who has the power to speak from experience chooses not to do so, Gay infers, our culture is more susceptible to the downfalls of these stereotypes.
Prejudice
Both Quindlen and Gay agree that prejudice leads to justification of one’s actions particularly when they discriminate the other entities. Quindlen argues that prejudice is evil and can be deterred, whereas difference cannot (Aplogosblog n.p.). The statement is indisputable and unquestionable, but one may ask himself or herself why prejudice is easier to fight than difference. Quindlen maintains that prejudice created a room for justification to a person’s actions (Aplogosblog n.p.). According to her, this is the primary reason many people are quick to prejudice the opposite genders for the reason that we can follow up how we judge others with justifications or why we have done this or that.
On the centrally, even though Gay proclaims that taking a stand is useful to various individuals, she maintains that coming out is not equally hard for each person. Additionally, she argues that society tends to categorize specific queer persons as the ‘right kind of gay’ (Gay 165). However, those who appear not fit for this model are ostracized or ignored. For instance, Sally Ride – after she died in 2012 – his wife was overlooked and denied the heterosexual widows rights (Bashor n.p.). The reason for this was that she fit the mold of a white, successful, masculine, and handsome male and therefore their relationship was not widely recognized (Bashor n.p.). Her nonconformity from the societal norms makes her not the “right kind of gay” which was not acceptable. Therefore, the fear that an individual will be cold-shouldered by society if they do not conform to the ‘right kind of gay’ make it hard for people to come out.
Conclusion
To sum it up, both Quindlen and Gay elaborates that prejudice only leads to justification of one’s action – people who do not conform to some standards in the society are discriminated which is wrong. However, the comparison has problems that arise when there are differences. For example, interfering with the privacy of other people and creating a communication barrier.
Work Cited
Aplogosblog "Between the Sexes, A Great Divide by Anna Quindlen." Aplogosblog, 11 May 2017, aplogosblog.wordpress.com/2017/05/09/between-the-sexes-a-great-divide-by-anna-quindlen/.
Bashor Abigail. "An Analysis of Roxane Gay’s “A Tale of Three Coming Out Stories”." Abigail Bashor, 17 Jan. 2017, abigailbashor.wordpress.com/2016/09/19/a-response-to-roxane-gays-a-tale-of-three-coming-out-stories/.
Gay Roxanne. "A Tale of Three Coming Out Stories." 5 Oct. 2017, therumpus.net/2012/07/a-tale-of-three-coming-out-stories/.
Quindlen, Anna. "Between the sexes, a great divide." The Norton Reader (2008)
