Tolstoy's Melancholy
Tolstoy's melancholy resulted from a spiritual crisis he experienced on September 9th. Despite his excellent work, the fourteen children he had with his wife, and his good health, Tolstoy succumbed to depression (Tolstoy). He considered suicide as a means of escaping the problems he was experiencing. Before committing suicide, he sought answers to the true nature of life from spiritual traditions and theology. In reality, he described the disaster he encountered in a confession that is available in public libraries. He had suffered emotional challenges which could not be solved by money, writing, and fame (Tolstoy).
Tolstoy's Internal Disease
According to Tolstoy, his depression was likened to the severe physical illness – an internal disease which men often don't solve. He, therefore, disregarded his great work which could not solve his challenges though he was very famous. Tolstoy past behaviors of going out to shoot with his guns stopped because his aim for these was to take his life. According to him, there was someone who was playing with his life, and it was a joke even though in all his life there was no one acknowledged as a creator (Tolstoy). Thusly, he felt it was a joke that even after his great work in the world after his death he would soon be forgotten. Death was the end of man in the universe. He observed that even his friends had died and they were eaten by worms and all of them were done. Interestingly, he would question why this happened to the man whose life was impacting. Also, to get rid of the terror of killing himself was troubling him and religion possibly was the solution to him.
Tolstoy's Frustration with Science
Tolstoy had sought to find answers in science, but it was more confusing than faith. He says that it could explain what reward men would receive because of their labor and hard work on earth after their death. Science had no explanation for the infinite hence living many questions unanswered. This was more confusing because if the many challenges that many strive to solve yet upon achieving them they die and are forgotten. The man could not be satisfied with wit the study of humanity because no one knows the end or beginning of life. Tolstoy also suggests that people could understand their own life if they would know where their life was begun and ends (Tolstoy).
Tolstoy's Discovery of Faith and Christianity
According to Tolstoy science answers its questions that it asks rather than answering his questions about life. He suggests that science itself had no solution to the catastrophe that he was in hence could not be a source of understanding. Therefore, Tolstoy discovers that only faith and Christianity can give him meaning in life and help him overcome the challenges he is going through in life. At the point of committing suicide, Tolstoy realized that even though he had been hardworking hard to gain fame, still he had no meaning in life by then.
Tolstoy's Understanding of Life Through Faith
Since the life of humanity seems endless, Tolstoy discovered that there was another supreme being that only through faith could he stand at that position. He points out that faith helps a person understand well his or her position in life. He says that science is just a display of the human mind hence it got many limitations. Science solves its challenges through investigations which are often encountered by human errors. He continues to confess that when he applied faith, it gave him some form of positive thought about his life.
Tolstoy's View on Humanity and Meaning
Through faith and Christianity, Tolstoy understands that people of his circle had four problems which included ignorance where people did not know and understand that life was just absurdity and evil hence they could not learn anything. Another view was Epicureanism where people are aware of their hopelessness of life but they still 'lick the honey' as their way to disregard the mice and the dragon (Tolstoy). Standing at such a position is accidental and would make them slaves in life. The third view was the way people escape life through the use of energy and strength to destroy their life which is an evil thing. Lastly, weakness is the way people know the truth about what they are getting through yet they do not do anything to solve their situation.
Objection to Tolstoy's Stance
The stance of Tolstoy can be objected because he did not recognize the existence of God yet believes that faith and Christianity gave him hope during his time of despair. If real, he believed that faith is the solution to the troubles in life, then people should understand belief in God. He suggested first that science could not explain anything that whatever phenomenon then faith could yet at the end he says that life had no meaning or reason (Tolstoy). Consequently, according to me, Tolstoy was confused and could not make the light judgment about his life. Having undergone depression, he had not fully recovered to be able to give a genuine confession.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is evident that Tolstoy underwent great troubles in trying to find meaning in life. He used science to explain things in his life, but it could not solve the challenges. He concluded that faith and Christianity gave meaning to his life. Hence, from his confession after the depression, there was still hope for his survival.
Work Cited
Tolstoy, Lee. “My Confession.” Shodor.org. Web. 24 Nov. 2017.
