Men's Expectations in Society
Men are expected by society to act differently than women and to play specific masculine roles. As I grew older, I was encouraged to participate in events geared toward youth, such as football, while avoiding those geared toward girls, such as cooking. Many times, I was told,' men don't do that,' or men do that,' which shaped my outlook toward many aspects of society. Updike compares inhabiting a male body to holding a bank account (1). This demonstrates that men do not need to think about keeping their bodies as much as women do, who must waste money and time caring for their feminine bodies in order to appear more attractive. Some roles are supposed to be played by men such as being a breadwinner. Even my religion emphasized my role as a man in the society and the political arena. However, such pressure can be so much especially for the current generation since gender roles are changing each day. For instance, as I grew up I was taught that man is emotionless and should not show any signs of weakness no matter the situation. The idea of how a man should behave or act decided before one could be born thus following some of the requirements to manliness is quite difficult.
American Culture and Masculinity
American culture has an unrealistic definition of masculinity, which affects men negatively or positively. For a man, the expectation is that there must be something to show off to the society such as performance in schools. I was expected to discover my potential and work on them because the society expects better performance in all activities from a man. The pressures heaped on men are a burden and shameful especially if one does not achieve the target and is ridiculed. Boys that show interest in subjects such as arts are considered weak since the expectation by the society is to take courses that are classified as challenging such as engineering (Connell 24). Culture does not recognize that men also have emotions and are passionate about doing some things related to arts that interest them. Even in politics, male candidates are more preferred to female since men are expected to be powerful. Campaigns are associated with wars or battles, a role that is reserved for male participants. Men are brought up in a manner that reminds them that they are different from girls. For instance, when a boy cries, he is told not to cry like a girl. This creates an impression that girls are weaker characters while boys are strong and enduring. Such stereotypes have a big influence on men as they grow up and it is difficult to change their views about their position in the community.
The Importance of Money and Financial Success
Being a man one is expected to make money since maleness is defined by the bank accounts and the amount of money in them. The society expects men's salary to be more than that of women, as they are expected to be the family's provider. Even when a woman's salary is higher, men's contribution in the family budget has to be felt. However, women are taking up roles that were earlier believed to be men's such as politics and performing well (Rich 412). Men that find it difficult to create wealth and provide a good home for their families are ridiculed as being girlish. No one expects a man to remain at home while the wife goes to work yet the opposite is common. People have no issues with women remaining at home doing household chores while their husbands go to work since the society expects a man to be rich while a woman should be beautiful to make a perfect family (Biddle 56). Men also have to be careful while choosing professions that will give them more money than their wife's income to earn respect. Material possession defines manliness despite the modernization of the society. Those that may earn less than their wives or girlfriends are ridiculed thus this gender role tends to encourage men to be independent in pursuance of own goals. Choosing a path that does not lead to wealth can kill the egoism in man due to poor financial gains. This means men have to sacrifice a lot to invest, which can assure them long-term financial benefits in the future. A man's life is difficult without money in the wallet and is one of the causes of crimes such as stealing in several societies. To be celebrated and honored, a man must have a higher income and have money to give out when problems such as sickness arise.
The Pressure to Win and Be Powerful
Another cultural and social expectation as a man is to win at all costs regardless of the challenges one is facing. This means that anything a man does must be better than anyone else's, putting a lot of pressure on men to complete various tasks. Even if they will not win, they care a lot about emerging as winners and losing is very much condemned. Masculinity calls for passionate worrying about positions in the hierarchy chain of primates (Connell 26). For one to be a real man according to the social construct, one must possess power, titles, and positions in the society. This excludes being a father of children and a husband to a woman but holding ranks in other areas such as corporations, institutions, and organizations. Men's ambitions are endless because of the social, cultural, and political forces that expect them to be above women. However, this world of male competitiveness and dominance is beneficial to only a few men because of the misconception that all men are privileged. Although the society considers the world as being controlled by men, only a few can take the top positions in different organizations since they are limited. Only a few men dominate the society and many of them spend the rest of their lives taking orders from their seniors else they lose their jobs. If this happens, one is ridiculed by the society for being unable to provide financial support to his family. As a man, one is expected to be physically strong such that one is big, muscular, strong, and very powerful for him to win. Even in televisions, movies, and video games, men are portrayed as very strong. This is despite the fact that people may never be in full control of their physical appearance since genetic make-up plays a big role in body size. Although men can work out, some may not achieve the society's desires since some were born small and exercises may never change that. For instance, short men cannot change their physical appearance by working out to become tall. Although they may gain muscles, they may not add an inch to their body and become taller. The society and culture also require men to have knowledge of many things such as fixing tires and fixing breakages in houses.
The Challenges and Choices of Being a Man
The expectations from society as a man are many, and some of them are difficult to follow to satisfy others' desires. Being a man requires me to be strong, but I cannot achieve all of them. I have always tried to fit in society, but in some cases, I let it go. For instance, men are forbidden from becoming emotional, but I do not need to stick to this belief. However, since I was made to believe that as a man I have to work hard and be more powerful compared to women, I have always done my best to emerge as the winner. I do not believe in defeat and can assert that the society's expectations have shaped my life a lot. The expectations have not affected my career choice since I believe in following my passion rather than the society's wishes. My relationship with others has not been affected since going to school and interacting with people of various societies has enabled me to see the world of men in a different way. Gender stereotyping is widespread, but I do not need to accept other people's ideas about who I am and the way I should behave towards other people. Since I respect every person regardless of gender, my relationship with people has not been affected. However, I have stuck to the idea of being the main provider in my family, especially catering for school fees for my children and other expenses. Living in a society that requires people to behave in a certain manner requires one to be very wise and choose the right path.
Works Cited
Biddle, Bruce J. Role theory: Expectations, Identities, and Behaviors. Academic Press, 2013.Connell, Raewyn W. Gender and Power: Society, the Person and Sexual Politics. John Wiley & Sons, 2014.
Rich, Adrienne Cecile. Women and Honor: Some Notes on Lying. Motheroot Publications, Pittsburgh Women Writers, 1977.
Updike, John. The Disposable Rocket. Ann Arbor,: University of Michigan., 1993.